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No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley

Scotland is the Canada of England. - Rainn Wilson

What Britain needs is an iron lady. - Margaret Thatcher

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce

He was not only a bore; he bored for England. - Malcolm Muggeridge

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Women in London must have learned not to breathe. - Irene Trimble

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

England can never be ruined except by a Parliament. - Lord Burleigh

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Britain's goal is not to survive, but to prevail. - Winston Churchill

He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

The monarchical institution in England is immensely valuable. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

There'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood. - Bob Hope

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown

To eat well in England you should have breakfast three times a day. - W Somerset Maugham

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London. - Bette Midler

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

Civilization - a heap of rubble scavenged by scrawny English Lit. vultures. - Malcolm Muggeridge

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The noblest prospect which a Scotsman ever sees is the high road that leads him to England. - Samuel Johnson

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

Diatribe: 1. An extinct race; 2. The group of native Brits that worship the late Princess Diana. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

Larry Gogan: 'With what town in Britain is Shakespeare associated?'
Contestant: 'Hamlet'. - Larry Gogan

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry, and he's got Mad Power Disease. - Paula Abdul

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

'Good English' is whatever educated people talk; so that what is good in one place or time would not be so in another. - C S Lewis

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. - Oscar Wilde

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin


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