QuotaBillsA wig is a wig is a wig. - Billy Zane
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? - George Carlin
A hair on the head is worth two on the brush. - Oliver Herford
Is that a beard, or are you eating a muskrat? - Dr Gonzo
He doesn't dye his hair, he bleaches his face. - Johnny Carson
Don't point that beard at me – it might go off. - Groucho Marx
I feel old when I see mousse in my opponent's hair. - Andre Aggassi
You can't compete with a six foot five man in a wig. - Shemar Moore
Every day People straighten up the hair, why not the heart? - Ernesto Guevara
I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd
Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. - P G Wodehouse
I really mustache you a question... but I'll shave it for later. - Unknown
I don't consider myself bald. I'm simply taller than my hair. - Tom Sharp
I have little hair because my brain is so big it pushes the hair out. - Silvio Berlusconi
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? - Lily Tomlin
The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say. - Bertrand Russell
Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller
As long as I can wear a wig I can be any character, and in real life I can be myself. - Ginnifer Goodwin
As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen
A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin
I can't disguise myself with a wig and dark glasses - the wheelchair gives me away. - Stephen Hawking
When I was with Andy Warhol, I thought, 'God, his wig looks cheaper than mine!' - Dolly Parton
I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood
Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock
For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson
I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere
I like to put on a wig or a fake mustache and do something silly with friends, do a little dance. - Tom Lenk
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. - George Burns
Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. - Khalil Gibran
I benefit from the Mr. Potato Head syndrome. Put a wig and a nose and glasses on me, and I disappear. - Phil Hartman
Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby
Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde
Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower. - Elayne Boosler
Kissing a man with a beard is a lot like going to a picnic. You don't mind going through a little bush to get there! - Minnie Pearl
I'm acting when I serve as a hostess, when I run my wig business. I was born to act, and life itself is the greatest part. - Eva Gabor
As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah
You know, sometimes I feel well and vital in the world, and sometimes I just feel so distressed I want to pull my hair out by the roots. - Sharon Stone
Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. - Garrison Keillor
His mind is concrete and fastidious,
His nose is remarkably big;
His visage is more or less hideous,
His beard it resembles a wig. - Edward Lear
When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro