#1 humor site on the 'net

Holiday Hours

Giving employees lots of time 'on' during the holidays

Holiday Hours thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Patience is the key to paradise. - Turkish Proverb

The end of labor is to gain leisure. - Aristotle

Only animals were not expelled from Paradise. - Milan Kundera

He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh. - Koran

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness. - Mark Twain

I think crime pays. The hours are good, and you travel a lot. - Woody Allen

I wanted to be an atheist, but I gave up. They have no holidays. - Henny Youngman

No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one. - Elbert Hubbard

Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are. - Chinese Proverb

If Autocorrect was a person I would never go on a vacation with it. - Paula Pell

Middle age is when, wherever you go on holiday, you pack a sweater. - Denis Norden

The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp. - John Berry

The real problem of leisure time is how to keep others from using yours. - Arthur Lacey

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation. - Unknown

How many inner resources one needs to tolerate a life of leisure without fatigue. - Natalie Clifford Barney

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. - Mark Twain

Too often travel, instead of broadening the mind, merely lengthens the conversation. - Elizabeth Drew

There is always going to be a little something wrong with you. Relax and live through that. - Unknown

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

For short term relaxation, I take a hot tub. It's my best way to unblock writer's block. - Ellen Hopkins

People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home. - Dagobert D. Runes

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train. - Oscar Wilde

There ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them. - Mark Twain

I've enjoyed many camping holidays with my sister and her children, but we're pretty posh campers. - Erin O'Connor

He that does good for good's sake seeks neither paradise nor reward, but he is sure of both in the end. - William Penn

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, you ought to set up a life you don't need to escape from. - Seth Godin

Love is hard work. It is the hardest work I know of, work from which you are never entitled to take a vacation. - Ravi Zacharias

No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow. - Lin Yutang

Travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living. - Miriam Beard

To devote a portion of one's leisure to do something for someone else is one of the highest forms of recreation. - Gerald B. Fitzgerald

Own only what you can always carry with you: know languages, know countries, know people. Let your memory be your travel bag. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Every street in London has a camera, and if you ever travel up the M4, it feels as if George Orwell should be your chauffeur. - Don McCullin

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

Politicians also have no leisure, because they are always aiming at something beyond political life itself, power and glory, or happiness. - Aristotle

The great outdoors is a theme with me; a walking holiday in Scotland is perfect - Culloden and the forests of Aviemore are both favourites. - Erin O'Connor

Integrity will take a leader farther than any other quality. If you would travel far and do much as a leader, never compromise your integrity. - John C Maxwell

What's my type? Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait - I'm describing my bed again. - Bill Murray


2 Republicans And A Truck

Corona Isolation

Cat Cookie

Worn Brakes

Apprentice Auto Body Shop

Moving Level Pro

Redneck Muffler Repair

Eggsellent Bike

Prairie Bear

Clinton Greeting

Halloween Flashers

Saying Pun

Redneck Blinds

Kid Disposal

Motorvation

Electric Football

Montgomery Ward 1934 Christmas Catalog

Halloween Lamp

Making Music Together

Back Asswards

Tent Peg Setup

Fang Treats

Model T Snowmobile

Skinny Puddy Tat