#1 humor site on the 'net

Hawaiian Surfboard Trade

Why some relationships end up on the rocks

Hawaiian Surfboard Trade thanks to joe-kster

Board: The fibreglass thingy under your feet

Hawaiian Surfboard Trade thanks to joe-kster

QuotaBills
Sales Talk: Trade wind - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is the sunset of love. - French Proverb

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

I give unto my wife my second best bed, with the furniture. - William Shakespeare

The antiques my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque. - Peter De Vries

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

If there was no such thing as barrels I probably wouldn't even surf. - Clay Marzo

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

When a man retires his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. - Red Skelton

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

It was partially my fault that we got divorced. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. - Woody Allen

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth". - Groucho Marx

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch, yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets. - John Kinnear

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle


Water Relief

Shot Glasses

Men in Denim

Chocolate Couch

Ant Attack

Extreme Pressure Cooker

Just Thinking

Nothing Wrong Picture

Lipstick Dog

Hair Strengthener

Whale Photobomb

World Peas

Hide and Seek

Hoodie Onesy

Going Around In Circles

Whiskey Jig

Redneck Mercedes

Hala Fruit

Hydro Water Power

Selfie Shoes

Tons Of Anarchy

Science World

Da Hood Shirt

What Do You See? - Part III