#1 humor site on the 'net

Harry Potter Parking

Broomstick used by top Quidditch Players and Wizards

Harry Potter Parking thanks to Keith Blake

Harry Potter broom sweeps Britain

QuotaBills
Relief: What trees do in the spring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

Stick it all right into that bank suppository. - Archie Bunker

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. - Ronald Reagan

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. - Rodney Dangerfield

If you're comfortable in a situation, stick with it. - Red Auerbach

Preoccupied with a single leaf you won't see the tree. - Vagabond

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Khalil Gibran

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. - Mark Twain

If you don't like where you are, move. You are not a tree. - Unknown

Never touch your idols: the gilding will stick to your fingers. - Gustave Flaubert

A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson

Zealotry: 1. The enemy of idealism; 2. What a tree salesman likes to do. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nicknames stick to people, and the most ridiculous are the most adhesive. - Thomas C Haliburton

If we surrendered to earth's intelligence, we could rise up rooted like trees. - Rainer M Rilke

Trees are not known by their leaves, nor even by their blossoms, but by their fruits. - Eleanor of Aquitaine

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

The stars are like the trees in the forest, alive and breathing. And they're watching me. - Haruki Murakami

Life as pool table,
White is focus,
Others, targets.
Stick is your driving force! - Stricketer

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence. - Hal Borland

It's better to fall from a tree and break your back than to fall in love and break your heart. - African Proverb

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

I really want to play Princess Leia. Stick some big pastries on my head. Now that would be interesting! - Ewan McGregor

Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn't: Go stick your head in the mud. - Jesse Ventura

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. - John Muir

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins. - Dave Barry

A husband is a guy who tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. - Ogden Nash

The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; and third, common sense. - Thomas Edison

I think trees should bloom earlier in the spring. They act like they are on a schedule. It’s not like they have anywhere to go. - Jarod Kintz

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they're still beautiful. - Alice Walker

I do not love to work out, but if I stick to exercising every day and put the right things in my mouth, then my diabetes just stays in check. - Halle Berry


Always Full Glass

Teople Poo

Only In Canada - Nosey Moose

Thrilling Read

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Double Line Parking

New Audi

Romance Lost

Conversation Chair

Bird Person

Family Fun

Fence Sitter

Behind Curtain Number One

Canadian Moose Dog

Shear Dog

Latte Art

Hair Notes

Stair Choices

Ant Strength

You Can't Fix Stupid

Cautious Fireman

Carbon Dating

Pure Maple Syrup

Girls' Joy Ride