Hardworking Wife

Candlestine romance - Archie Bunker

Take my wife - please! - Henny Youngman

My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield

Civilized humanical relationships - Archie Bunker

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

Who has a bad wife, his hell begins on earth. - Dutch Proverb

Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. - Leo Rosten

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen

The antiques my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque. - Peter De Vries

Fame usually comes to those who are thinking about something else. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. - Keanu Reeves

I'm having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife. - Ella Grasso

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

Nothing arouses ambition so much as the trumpet clang of another's fame. - Baltasar Gracian

I love romance. I'm a sucker for it. I love it so much. It's pathetic. - Drew Barrymore

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. - Red Skelton

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

No matter how much fame and fortune you achieve, don't get wrapped up in yourself. - Dal Richards

As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice: You can be right or you can be happy. - Ralphie May

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one. - Joan Baez

In Las Vegas, a man said to his wife, "Give me the money I told you not to give me." - Henny Youngman

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown

Valentine's Day: Rubbing singles' noses in their lack of a mate and the noses of couples in their lack of time. - Emma McLaughlin

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people. - Axl Rose

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop. - Winston Churchill

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx