Hardworking Wife

Fame is the thirst of youth. - Lord Byron

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. - Henry Winkler

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. - Phyllis Diller

Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. - Oscar Wilde

I give unto my wife my second best bed, with the furniture. - William Shakespeare

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. - Rodney Dangerfield

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

The antiques my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque. - Peter De Vries

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game. - Unknown

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip. - Groucho Marx

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. - Homer Simpson

Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes. - Unknown

Fame is only good for one thing - they will cash your check in a small town. - Truman Capote

The woman who can create her own job is the one who will win fame and fortune. - Amelia Earhart

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

No matter how much fame and fortune you achieve, don't get wrapped up in yourself. - Dal Richards

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. - Joey Adams

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. - Helen Rowland

Talent is God-given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be thankful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful. - Harvey Mackay

Relationships are about give and take; not tit-for-tat. If you're keeping score, you'll lose at your own game. - Faydra D. Fields

I've never sought success in order to get fame and money; it's the talent and the passion that count in success. - Ingrid Bergman

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle