Hardworking Wife

My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield

Romance is the icing, the love is the cake. - Unknown

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

Who has a bad wife, his hell begins on earth. - Dutch Proverb

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. - Phyllis Diller

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

I'm having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife. - Ella Grasso

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. - Homer Simpson

Nothing arouses ambition so much as the trumpet clang of another's fame. - Baltasar Gracian

Fame is only good for one thing - they will cash your check in a small town. - Truman Capote

Want to improve your relationships? See love as a verb rather than as a feeling. - Stephen R. Covey

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It was partially my fault that we got divorced. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. - Woody Allen

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

Pigeons are gentle and smart and have complex social relationships. Their hearing and vision are both excellent. - Ingrid Newkirk

Valentine's Day: Rubbing singles' noses in their lack of a mate and the noses of couples in their lack of time. - Emma McLaughlin

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

A kind of banalization of celebrity has occurred: we are now offered an instant, ready-to-mix fame as nutritious as packet soup. - J G Ballard

Some men's ambition is art, some men's ambition is fame, some men's ambition is gold. My ambition is the souls of men. - William Booth

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown