Hardworking Wife

Candlestine romance - Archie Bunker

My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. - Oscar Wilde

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen

The antiques my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque. - Peter De Vries

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. - Keanu Reeves

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud

I'm having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife. - Ella Grasso

Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she's coming with me. - Jon Bon Jovi

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

I love romance. I'm a sucker for it. I love it so much. It's pathetic. - Drew Barrymore

When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one. - Joan Baez

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

A man with a career can have no time to waste upon his wife and friends; he has to devote it wholly to his enemies. - John Hobbes

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

Valentine's Day: Rubbing singles' noses in their lack of a mate and the noses of couples in their lack of time. - Emma McLaughlin

It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people. - Axl Rose

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop. - Winston Churchill

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown