Hardworking Wife

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Romance is the icing, the love is the cake. - Unknown

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. - Leo Rosten

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

My wife and I were happy for twenty years... then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. - John Barrymore

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

The antiques my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque. - Peter De Vries

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

Fame usually comes to those who are thinking about something else. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. - Keanu Reeves

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she's coming with me. - Jon Bon Jovi

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

Want to improve your relationships? See love as a verb rather than as a feeling. - Stephen R. Covey

John Wooden was a hall of fame character long before he was a hall of fame coach. - John C Maxwell

An almost perfect relationship with his father was the earthly root of all his wisdom. - C S Lewis

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

It was partially my fault that we got divorced. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. - Woody Allen

A true relationship is when you can tell each other anything and everything. No secrets, no lies. - Unknown

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad's payroll - and on to his wife's - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

I'm amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch, yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets. - John Kinnear

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

Like a human being, a company has to have an internal communication mechanism, a 'nervous system', to coordinate its actions. - Bill Gates

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

When my wife says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space and write a poem on the moon before we go. - Mike Vanatta

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown