Hardworking Wife

My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield

Seek a wife in your own sphere. - Latin Proverb

Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. - Leo Rosten

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

The art of communication is the language of leadership. - James Humes

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. - Phyllis Diller

Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. - Oscar Wilde

I give unto my wife my second best bed, with the furniture. - William Shakespeare

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

The great myth of our times is that technology is communication. - Libby Larsen

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Extremists think 'communication' means agreeing with them. - Leo Rosten

Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. - Keanu Reeves

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason. - Molly McGee

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

Content builds relationships. Relationships are built on trust. Trust drives revenue. - Andrew Davis

We learn the most from imperfect relationships - things like forgiveness and compassion. - Andrea Thompson

Shady Character: A fellow who snoozes in a hammock under a tree while his wife mows the lawn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In Las Vegas, a man said to his wife, "Give me the money I told you not to give me." - Henny Youngman

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. - Helen Rowland

Talent is God-given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be thankful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful. - Harvey Mackay

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia

My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

The five essential entrepreneurial skills for success: Concentration, Discrimination, Organization, Innovation and Communication. - Harold S Geneen

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

I'm amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch, yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets. - John Kinnear

Some men's ambition is art, some men's ambition is fame, some men's ambition is gold. My ambition is the souls of men. - William Booth