Halloween Birth

Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Hasta la vista, baby. - Terminator 2: Judgement Day

I've made a career off of Halloween. - Cassandra Peterson

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

The pumpkin is always oranger on the other side of the patch. - Unknown

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it. - Katharine McPhee

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

Baby Boomer: A kid who just polished off six jars of raspberry jam - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. - Steve Almond

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. - Mignon McLaughlin

Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams

You cannot climb the ladder of success dressed in the costume of failure. - Zig Ziglar

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

I love you more than pumpkin spice latte but please don't make me prove it! - Unknown

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? - Benny Hill

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Monsters are real, and ghosts are real, too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win. - Stephen King

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A library should be the delivery room for the birth of ideas - a place where history comes to life. - Norman Cousins

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. - Douglas Coupland

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I have a strict rule: I don't work on Halloween and I won't travel on Halloween. - Simon Sinek

Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good one are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon. - Unknown

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds