#1 humor site on the 'net

Grass Pinch

Budget cuts in Clothespin Park

Grass Pinch thanks to Keith Blake

Cholesterol in the country

QuotaBills
Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

I have always had the sea as my playground. - Alexander D. Oen

Inflation: everyone's illusion of wealth - Unknown

Have patience! In time, even grass becomes milk. - Charan Singh

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

An intellectual is a man who doesn't know how to park his bike. - Spiro T. Agnew

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. - Jay London

All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk. - Will Rogers

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman, and a pretty girl. - Charlie Chaplin

Your body is not a temple, it's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride. - Anthony Bourdain

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

Being an actor on a movie set is like going to the playground at recess. - Melissa Leo

Ever hear of the old saying, "grass don't grow on a busy street?" - Archie Bunker

Enthusiasm is excitement with inspiration, motivation, and a pinch of creativity. - Bo Bennett

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

I'm kinda disapointed that Canada isn't like the South Park movie said it was. - Joel Madden

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. - Steven Wright

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park. - Dolly Parton

Writing is very much a playground - an artistic playground. It's the most fun thing I do. - Shania Twain

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

Dreams or illusions, call them what you will, they lift us from the commonplace of life to better things. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached. - Simone Weil

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth. - Unknown

In neighborhoods without a usable park or playground, the incidence of childhood obesity increases by 29 percent. - Darell Hammond

Tarry a moment to watch the chaos of a playground, crayola-colored shirts of running children, all trying out their wings. - Dr. SunWolf

The evolution of playground equipment has been to this ever safer, less challenging, less interesting assemblies of equipment. - Gever Tulley

We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die. - W H Auden

If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright

Personal columnists are jackals and no jackal has been known to live on grass once he had learned about meat - no matter who killed the meat for him. - Ernest Hemingway

In New York, everybody looks great and is well dressed, but seeing someone in Ohio wearing Marc Jacobs is like spotting an owl in Central Park. Rare. - Isabel Gillies


GPS Directions

Secret Exit

Clippendales

Starborks

Post-Apocalyptical Section

Hide And Sikh

Yoga Pants

Really Good Day

Be Someone

My Time

Algebra Relationship

Mask Shortage

Exit Not Found

Early Shave

Dementia Purse

Quarantine Response

Braided Horse Tail

Government Debt

Statue Tug Of War

Kiosk Hours

Tight Fit

Life Is Beautiful

Buddha Pear

Yes!