Florida Golf Hazard

Even snakes are afraid of snakes. - Steven Wright

Real golfers don't miss putts, they get robbed. - Unknown

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown

Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

Risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. - Leo Buscaglia

If you see a snake, just kill it - don't appoint a committee on snakes. - H. Ross Perot

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. - WC Fields

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

There is no impossibility to him who stands prepared to conquer every hazard. The fearful are the failing. - Sarah J. Hale

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez