#1 humor site on the 'net

Fishing Trip in New Zealand

Planning your next 'Down Under' fishing charter

I've been googling prices on air fares to New Zealand in July for a week-long deep sea fishing trip in the Southern Ocean on a deep sea boat. I must get 30 starters for the week on the boat to qualify for a good deal. I spoke with a fishing charter business operator yesterday about spending a week on the high seas, and he said the best fishing is in July. Since the earthquake, everything is half price - with all fishing gear supplied free. The vessel sleeps 30 comfortably, has a full time cook, separate lounge and dining room, 24 hour bar service, TV, Foxtel and all the amenities (b.y.o. grog). Promotional fishing trip photos supplied below.
Fishing Trip in New Zealand thanks to Mike King

Fishing Trip in New Zealand thanks to Mike King

Fishing Trip in New Zealand thanks to Mike King

Fishing Trip in New Zealand thanks to Mike King

Fishing Trip in New Zealand thanks to Mike King

Fishing Trip in New Zealand thanks to Mike King

Fishing Trip in New Zealand thanks to Mike King

Fishing Trip in New Zealand thanks to Mike King

Fishing Trip in New Zealand thanks to Mike King

Fishing Trip in New Zealand thanks to Mike King

Limited seats available - Waiting on your reply. Don't see anybody on the deck? They must be inside having a drink and sampling the fantastic food!

QuotaBills
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

Sushi Vendor: A sell-fish guy - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kinship: Your rich Uncle's boat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Quay: Something you need to start a motor boat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton

One can think of life after the fish is in the canoe. - Hawaii Proverb

Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover

At high tide, fish eat ants; at low tide, ants eat fish. - Thai Saying

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. - Mark Twain

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

It's okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings. - Kurt Cobain

I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson

Ideal Summer Resort: A place where fish bite and mosquitoes don't - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip. - Groucho Marx

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

Rowing harder doesn't help if the boat is headed in the wrong direction. - Unknown

Any man who puts his intelligence up against a fish and loses had it coming. - John Steinbeck

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

When you get on the boat that's saving you, don't pull up the ladder behind you. - Adrienne Clarkson

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. - Steven Wright

Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu

We are imprisoned in the realm of life, like a sailor on his tiny boat, on an infinite ocean. - Anna Freud

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow. - Jim Hightower

To say my fate is not tied to your fate is like saying, "Your end of the boat is sinking." - Hugh Downs

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

When it comes to old age we're all in the same boat, only some of us have been aboard a little longer. - Leo Probst

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish. - Ovid

New Zealand was one of the most beautiful countries to drive through for the scenery and the vast scale of the place. - Louise Nurding

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins. - Dave Barry

There is only one thing harder than looking for a dewdrop in the dew, and that is fishing for a clam in the clam chowder. - New England Proverb

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


Diamond Ring TP

Treadmill Workout

The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character

Mask Not Your Country

Sun Protection

Multi-Motor Motorcycle

Your In America

Mexican Repair Shop

You're CuTe

Don't Be A Stick In The Mud

Wake Up Alarm

Mr. Dressup II

Gangsta

Tiring Tire

Redneck Rolling Bottle Sprinkler

Transmission Line Parallel Bars

Water Skiing in Russia

Why Men Shouldn't Take Messages

Spot the Snow Leopard

Open Too Long

Rap Is Like Scissors

Ball Bait

Deluxe Peanut Butter Jam Sandwich

Topping The Charts