#1 humor site on the 'net

False Teeth

Through the denture looking glass

False Teeth thanks to Mel Hardman

QuotaBills
Floss like a boss! - Unknown

Keep calm and floss on. - Unknown

Teeth are always in style. - Dr. Seuss

By ancestry, I was born to rule. - Nelson Mandela

Dentist Office: A filling station - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

People like to trace their ancestry. - Richard Dawkins

The tongue is ever turning to the aching tooth. - Thomas Fuller

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. - Unknown

My friend has false teeth - with braces on them. - Steven Wright

Too much freedom can lead to the soul's decay. - Prince

Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko

Love conquers all things - except poverty and toothache. - Mae West

Some men by ancestry are only the shadow of a mighty name. - Etheridge Knight

Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp

Jockey: What a dentist uses when you won't open your mouth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to people better than you are. - John G. Pollard

Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes

If I'm feeling really wild I don't floss before bedtime. - Judith Viorst

A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice

I'm as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth. - Kris Kringle

The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. - George Bernard Shaw

Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours. - Homer Simpson

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

You don't have to brush your teeth - just the ones you want to keep. - Unknown

An aching tooth is better out than in.
To lose a rotting member is a gain. - Richard Baxter

I believe in moderation. I work on genealogy only on days that end in 'y'. - Richard Thiesen

I still have my teeth. I don't want to lose them at age 61 in some hockey game. - Jim Flaherty

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf

For there was never yet a philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently. - William Shakespeare

Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. - Herb Caen

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
is dental. - Ogden Nash

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

When you start about family, about lineage and ancestry, you are talking about every person on earth. - Alex Haley

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

Many of us are at the 'metallic' age - gold in our teeth, silver in our hair, and lead in our pants. - Unknown

I don't get off on romantic parts. But I often think if I had had my dental work done early on, well, maybe. - Morgan Freeman

The man who has nothing to boast of but his illustrious ancestry is like the potato - the best part under ground. - Thomas Overbury

All satire is blind to the forces liberated by decay. Which is why total decay has absorbed the forces of satire. - Theodor Adorno

In California virtually everyone has had their teeth whitened. If they all smiled at once, they would give us a headache. - Garrison Keillor

To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw

Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

The greatest thing about man is his ability to transcend himself, his ancestry and his environment and to become what he dreams of being. - Tully C. Knoles

Zipper: Two rows of unsmiling teeth that often induce laughter in others, especially when inadvertently left open following a trip to the john - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Deluxe Peanut Butter Jam Sandwich

Topping The Charts

Ring Leader

Edible Rubik's Cube

If Apple Made A Car

High-Wire Act Violin

Redneck Pole Support

New iPhone - Special Delivery

QR Code Quilt

How It's Done

Animal Puns

Feather Fashion

Breast Cancer Cure

Monday Flowers

Dog Muzzle

Cocklebiddy Welcome

Tartan Headphones

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Croatian Landscaping

Help For Dead Children

Sand Carpet

Big Foot Returns to The Screen

Texas Rims

Raised By Owls