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False Teeth

Through the denture looking glass

False Teeth thanks to Mel Hardman

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Never floss with a stranger. - Joan Rivers

By ancestry, I was born to rule. - Nelson Mandela

Dentist Office: A filling station - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ancestry is a hereditary condition. - Unknown

People like to trace their ancestry. - Richard Dawkins

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind. - Ogden Nash

The tongue is ever turning to the aching tooth. - Thomas Fuller

We break bones and we lose teeth. We play rugby. - Martin Johnson

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. - Unknown

My friend has false teeth - with braces on them. - Steven Wright

Some men by ancestry are only the shadow of a mighty name. - Etheridge Knight

Jockey: What a dentist uses when you won't open your mouth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to people better than you are. - John G. Pollard

A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice

Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown

The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. - George Bernard Shaw

Harmony makes small things grow; lack of it makes great things decay. - Sallust

It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks. - Pierre Renoir

You don't have to brush your teeth - just the ones you want to keep. - Unknown

Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

You know you're getting old if you have more fingers than real teeth. - Rodney Dangerfield

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

An aching tooth is better out than in.
To lose a rotting member is a gain. - Richard Baxter

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

I believe in moderation. I work on genealogy only on days that end in 'y'. - Richard Thiesen

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy. - Unknown

Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. - Herb Caen

Thrusting my nose firmly between his teeth, I threw him heavily to the ground on top of me. - Mark Twain

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

The best and cheapest dentistry is when the right thing is done extremely well the first time and it lasts. - Unknown

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

I don't get off on romantic parts. But I often think if I had had my dental work done early on, well, maybe. - Morgan Freeman

All satire is blind to the forces liberated by decay. Which is why total decay has absorbed the forces of satire. - Theodor Adorno

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis

In California virtually everyone has had their teeth whitened. If they all smiled at once, they would give us a headache. - Garrison Keillor

To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

The greatest thing about man is his ability to transcend himself, his ancestry and his environment and to become what he dreams of being. - Tully C. Knoles

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton


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