Everything Men Know About Women

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. - Phyllis Diller

Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. - Oscar Wilde

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game. - Unknown

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman. - Oscar Wilde

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. - Keanu Reeves

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

Want to improve your relationships? See love as a verb rather than as a feeling. - Stephen R. Covey

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

Marriage is the harmony of God synchronizing two wills with the will of the Father. - Ravi Zacharias

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice: You can be right or you can be happy. - Ralphie May

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown

Valentine's Day: Rubbing singles' noses in their lack of a mate and the noses of couples in their lack of time. - Emma McLaughlin

The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia

The greatest mistake we humans make in our relationships: we listen half, understand quarter, think zero, and react double. - Unknown

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity. - Epicurus

Forgiveness is the best form of love in any relationship. It takes a strong person to say they're sorry, and an even stronger person to forgive. - Yolanda Hadid