Everything Men Know About Women

Civilized humanical relationships - Archie Bunker

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it. - Unknown

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

I love romance. I'm a sucker for it. I love it so much. It's pathetic. - Drew Barrymore

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Irwin Corey

Marriage is the harmony of God synchronizing two wills with the will of the Father. - Ravi Zacharias

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. - Jodie Foster

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

Without the will, marriage is a mockery; without the emotion, it is a drudgery. You need both. - Ravi Zacharias

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. - Helen Rowland

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia

It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people. - Axl Rose

I'm not sure which is harder on a relationship: sharing a dresser for three years, or sharing an iPhone charger for one day. - Unknown

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland