#1 humor site on the 'net

Elephant Hand

Looking for handouts?

Elephant Hand thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
My trade and my art is living. - Michel De Montaigne

What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art. - Augustus Saint-Gaudens

Vision is the art of seeing things invisible. - Jonathan Swift

Life is the art of drawing without an eraser. - John Gardner

Truth is simple, requiring neither study nor art. - Ammian

Love the art in yourself, not yourself in the art. - Constantin Stanislavski

The cards are ill shuffled till I have a good hand. - Jonathan Swift

The 'Earth' without art is just 'eh'. - Unknown

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. - Don Marquis

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The essence of all art is to have pleasure in giving pleasure. - Dale Carnegie

In France, cooking is a serious art form and a national sport. - Julia Child

The art of mothering is to teach the art of living to children. - Elaine Heffner

Homer has taught all other poets the art of telling lies skillfully. - Aristotle

Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time. - Thomas Merton

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on. - Maxwell Maltz

The fine art of preparing sushi is something that you watch and learn. - Nobu Matsuhisa

I have nature and art and poetry, and if that is not enough, what is enough? - Vincent van Gogh

Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises. - Samuel Butler

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

If a man take no thought about what is distant, he will find sorrow near at hand. - Confucius

I love contemporary art, although I wouldn't want a pickled shark in my house. - Bruno Tonioli

The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than in growing with them. - Bernard M Baruch

It is only an auctioneer who can equally and impartially admire all schools of art. - Oscar Wilde

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

The sole art that suits me is that which, rising from unrest, tends toward serenity. - Andre Gide

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge. - Albert Einstein

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

I have discovered the art of fooling diplomats. I speak the truth, and they never believe me. - Camillo Di Cavour

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open, and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away. - Dorothy Parker

Build. Destroy. Rebuild. I've mastered the art of bouncing back. Now to master the art of not having to. - Unknown

Technology is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. - Carrie Snow

Preaching is not the art of making a sermon and delivering it. Preaching is the art of making a preacher and delivering him. - Bishop Quayle

The greatest achievement of humanity is not its works of art, science, or technology, but the recognition of its own dysfunction. - Eckhart Tolle

Some men's ambition is art, some men's ambition is fame, some men's ambition is gold. My ambition is the souls of men. - William Booth

Art owes its origin to nature. This beautiful creation supplied the first model, while the original teacher was that divine intelligence. - Giorgio Vasari

Condemn none: if you can stretch out a helping hand, do so. If you cannot, fold your hands, bless your brothers, and let them go their own way. - Swami Vivekananda

Art is the window to man's soul. Without it, he would never be able to see beyond his immediate world; nor could the world see the man within. - Claudia Johnson


Pets Come First

If You Need Space

Economy Flight

Redneck Hailstone Damage

Wet Tents

Redneck Flu Shot

Japanese Diving Platform

All Mine

Cat Swimming at the Olympics

Yoga Food

Paint Room

Beer Cheers

Olympic Preparations

Row Your Goat

My Kind Of Exercise

Surround Sound for Babies

Cemetery Protest

Clean Senior Citizens

Taco Bell Secret Seasoning

Goodbye Tattoo

What Goes Round Comes Round

Augustweggen

Scary Ice Cream

Orca Siting