Drink And Drive Directions

I drink therefore I am. - WC Fields

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Drink triple, see double, act single. - Unknown

You drive for show but putt for dough. - Bobby Locke

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Love your enemy - it'll drive him nuts. - Unknown

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

Sleep... the most beautiful experience in life - except drink. - WC Fields

Jail is no place for a young fellow. There's no advancement. - Groucho Marx

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know. - WC Fields

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Drive slow and enjoy the scenery. Drive fast and join the scenery. - Douglas Horton

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

I don't have a drinking problem. Except when I can't get a drink. - Tom Waits

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. - Nancy Astor

I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not. - Brendan Behan

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. - David Letterman

The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win. - Roger Bannister

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

If leeches ate peaches instead of my blood,
then I would be free to drink tea in the mud! - Emilie Autumn

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

The drink and I have been friends for so long, it would be a pity for me to leave without one last kiss. - Turlough O'Carolan

Education makes a people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to govern but impossible to enslave. - Henry Brougham

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

New Zealand was one of the most beautiful countries to drive through for the scenery and the vast scale of the place. - Louise Nurding

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. - George Burns

If you think that praise is due, now's the time to show it, 'cause a man can't read his tombstone when he's dead. - Unknown

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

When I get through tearing a lobster apart, or one of those tender West Coast octopuses, I feel like I had a drink from the fountain of youth. - Joseph Mitchell

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright

Religions, which condemn the pleasures of sense, drive men to seek the pleasures of power. Throughout history power has been the vice of the ascetic. - Bertrand Russell