Drink And Drive Directions

Drink to me. - Pablo Picasso

I drink therefore I am. - WC Fields

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

You drive for show but putt for dough. - Bobby Locke

I drink to make other people interesting. - Groucho Marx

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

Those who drink to forget, please pay in advance. - Irish Saying

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? - George Carlin

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable. - G K Chesterton

Nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off. - Unknown

Drive slow and enjoy the scenery. Drive fast and join the scenery. - Douglas Horton

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning. - Founder's Breakfast Stout

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

I don't have a drinking problem. Except when I can't get a drink. - Tom Waits

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

I don't smoke dope, I don't drink bourbon. All I want to do is shake my turban. - Peter Singh

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living. - Jean Kerr

If leeches ate peaches instead of my blood,
then I would be free to drink tea in the mud! - Emilie Autumn

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

The drink and I have been friends for so long, it would be a pity for me to leave without one last kiss. - Turlough O'Carolan

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

New Zealand was one of the most beautiful countries to drive through for the scenery and the vast scale of the place. - Louise Nurding

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

If you think that praise is due, now's the time to show it, 'cause a man can't read his tombstone when he's dead. - Unknown

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright

Religions, which condemn the pleasures of sense, drive men to seek the pleasures of power. Throughout history power has been the vice of the ascetic. - Bertrand Russell

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown