Dogs Allowed

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Our children are only as brilliant as we allow them to be. - Eric Micha'el Leventhal

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money. - WC Fields

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

It's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission. - Grace Hopper

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

If your world doesn't allow you to dream, move to one where you can. - Billy Idol

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

If I had permission to do everything, I wouldn't want to do anything. - Joe Palen

Never allow someone to be your priority while you're just their option. - Unknown

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize. - Voltaire

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches. - Will Rogers

You don't have to teach people to be funny, you only have to give them permission. - Harvey Mindess

I'm just a surfer who wanted to build something that would allow me to surf longer. - Jack O'Neill

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women access to the mainstream of society. - Rush Limbaugh

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

During World War II children were not allowed to trick or treat because there was a sugar shortage. - Linda Bozzo

One way to sell a consumer something in the future is simply to get his or her permission in advance. - Seth Godin

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

The only thing that has ever made me feel old is those few times where I allow myself to be predictable. - Carlos Santana

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

Not to forgive is to be imprisoned by the past, by old grievances that do not permit life to proceed with new business. - Robin Casarjian

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

Canada is a balloon-puncturing country. You are not really allowed to be an icon unless you also make an idiot of yourself. - Margaret Atwood

Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas. - Joseph Stalin

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work. - George Carlin

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Mason took in enough cannabis smoke to allow a Lipan Apache manipulating a blanket over it to transmit the complete works of Tennyson. - Richard Condon

When you die, God and the angels will hold you accountable for all the pleasures you were allowed in this life that you denied yourself. - Unknown

Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. - Norman Vincent Peale

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash