#1 humor site on the 'net

Distressing Artwork

Animal pictures gone wrong

Distressing Artwork thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Self portrait delusion

QuotaBills
Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat. - Leo Dworkin

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him. - Rudyard Kipling

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

Skunk: 1. A streamlined cat with a 2-tone finish and a fluid drive; 2. A community scenter. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Alfred Tennyson

I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain


Ready Soon

Mud Flops

Been Lapped

How To Use The New 1940 Dial Telephone

Garmin Drive

Redneck Bucket List

Rotating Illusion - Pink Eye Trick

Boneless Bananas

That's My Bed

Eye For Coffee

Logging Moose

Firemen's Revenge

Just In Thyme

Kapalua Resort - The Plantation Course

Alberta Hood Ornament

Outside Urinal

Fixer-Uppers

Just Divorced

Flannel Frontier

Humour in the Workplace

Colour Wheel

Milky Way

Security Guard

Wet Floor Caution