Day At The Beach

Ampersand: Sand you won't find at a beach - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

Pencil: A tiny tree used to draw a line in the sand - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in. - Phyllis Diller

This is the place to be - in the land of swimming pools. - David Hockney

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

Lines of gulls standing on glassy blue patches of wet sand. - Cathleen Schine

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it. - Woodrow Wilson

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

Bed and Breakfast: Two things the kids will never make for themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best. - Bob Talbert

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

It's only when the tide goes out that you learn who's been swimming naked. - Warren Buffett

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

I guess you would say I'd be like the Michael Phelps of swimming if he wasn't there. - Ryan Lochte

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim. - Frida Kahlo

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. - Ken Dodd

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

I was the equivalent of a 98 pound weakling. I would go to the beach and people would throw copies of Byron in my face! - Robin Williams

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? - Dylan Moran

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

Today was about chasing sun-rays, beach waves, and sunsets. All things beautiful that give you peace are worth chasing. Everything else isn't. - April M. Monterrosa

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer