Day At The Beach

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Beach Erosion: A case of bad tidings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Quicksand: Beach where motor races are held - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Germs: The only things kids will share freely - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

What a morning - fresh as if issued to children on a beach. - Virginia Woolf

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

She's a skeleton in the sand right now. She comes and she goes. - Annalies Corbin

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best. - Bob Talbert

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

I guess you would say I'd be like the Michael Phelps of swimming if he wasn't there. - Ryan Lochte

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

I keep fit. Every morning, I do a hundred laps of an Olympic-sized swimming pool - in a small motor launch. - Peter Cook

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. - Ken Dodd

If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Milton Friedman

I was the equivalent of a 98 pound weakling. I would go to the beach and people would throw copies of Byron in my face! - Robin Williams

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

A mere 40 years ago, beach volleyball was just beginning. No bureaucrat would have invented it, and that's what freedom is all about. - Newt Gingrich

Clay. It's rain, dead leaves, dust, all my dead ancestors. Stones that have been ground into sand. Mud. The whole cycle of life and death. - Martine Vermeulen

Summer is a drag because even normal people become obsessed with their bodies. A bad bathing suit can humiliate you more tan anything else in life. - Conan O'Brien