Church Sign Messages

A human life is a story told by God. - Hans Christian Andersen

An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

God, please save me from your followers! - Unknown

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. - Frank Lloyd Wright

By night an atheist half believes in God. - Edward Young

Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God. - Thomas Jefferson

Black holes are where God divided by zero. - Steven Wright

Without a doubt, it is the land God gave to Cain. - Mordecai Richler

Chocolate: God's apology to women for periods. - Unknown

God writes comedy but sometimes has a slow audience. - Garrison Keillor

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

The heart that is generous and kind most resembles God. - Robert Burns

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

God depends on us. It is through us that God is achieved. - Andre Gide

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. - Woody Allen

If you want to give God a good laugh, tell Him your plans. - Yiddish Proverb

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

God does not require we be successful, only that we be faithful. - Mother Teresa

God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

Prayer is when you talk to God; meditation is when you listen to God. - Diana Robinson

If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders

Man - a creature created at the end of a work week when God was tired. - Mark Twain

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. - Barbara Walters

Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things. - Henry Ward Beecher

God doesn't comfort us to make us comfortable, but to make us comforters. - Billy Graham

I read the book of Job last night. I don't think God comes out well in it. - Virginia Woolf

A blank piece of paper is God's way of telling us how hard it is to be God. - Sidney Sheldon

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. - Jonathan Winters

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

Every evening I turn worries over to God. He's going to be up all night anyway. - Mary C. Crowley

Sometimes I get to places just when God's ready to have somebody click the shutter. - Ansel Adams

When I was with Andy Warhol, I thought, 'God, his wig looks cheaper than mine!' - Dolly Parton

Only priests and fools are fearless and I've never been on the best of terms with God. - Patrick Rothfuss

Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better. - Andre Gide

I always distrust people who know so much about what God wants them to do to their fellows. - Susan B Anthony

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? - Laurence J. Peter

An author in his book must be like God in the universe: present everywhere and visible nowhere. - Gustave Flaubert

God puts you on the runway and takes you off the runway. What you do on the runway is up to you. - Unknown

Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Whenever you enter into it take with you your all. - Kahlil Gibran

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball

I realize the tragic significance of the atom bomb. We thank God it has come to us instead of our enemies. - Harry S Truman

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. - Robin Williams

God's blessings are dispensed according to the riches of his grace, not according to the depth of our faith. - Max Lucado

I am one of those cliff-hanging Catholics. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that Mary was his mother. - Martin Sheen

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

Don't be afraid of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

It is a press, certainly, but a press from which shall flow in inexhaustible streams... through it, God will spread his word. - Johannes Gutenberg

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. - I Thessalonians 5:16-18

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm. - William Cowper

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

People are so shocked when they find... out I am Protestant. I am Presbyterian. And I go to church, and I love God, and I love my church. - Donald Trump

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. - Galileo Galilei

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker

Be yourself no matter what other people think. God made you the way you are for a reason. Besides, an original is always worth more than a copy! - Unknown

To say that authority, whether secular or religious, supplies no ground for morality is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction. - Joseph Addison