The Griswold's cat bites on the Christmas lights cord ... National Lampoon Christmas Vacation fried cat scene
QuotaBillsAll cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb
After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb
Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin
When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying
A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown
Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers
Preoccupied with a single leaf you won't see the tree. - Vagabond
The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus
People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin
May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out. - JRR Tolkien
Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus
It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard
The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain
When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown
Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant
Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson
There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast. - Charles Dickens
Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson
Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby
True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse
An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut
You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland
Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump
Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright
Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin