#1 humor site on the 'net

Break Dance Soccer

How to eliminate soccer opponents

Break Dance Soccer thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Taking notes on the football pitch

QuotaBills
No Sane man will dance. - Cicero

Surfing is attitude dancing. - Gerry Lopez

Either dance well or quit the ballroom. - Greek Proverb

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

To watch us dance is to hear our hearts speak. - Indian Proverb

We can choose to hate the rain or dance in it. - Joan Marques

A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. - Clive James

Soccer: A European warm-up exercise for rioting - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dance first. Think later. It's the natural order. - Samuel Beckett

Can't act. Can sing. Balding. Can dance a little. - MGM Executive

Life is a dance. Mindfulness is witnessing that dance. - Amit Ray

Fan Belt: What a soccer fan uses to keep his trousers up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I played a little basketball. Some football in junior high. - Clint Eastwood

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. - George Carlin

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

Football Season: The time of the year when girls whistle at men in sweaters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We dance in a circle and suppose, while the secret sits in the middle and knows. - Robert Frost

The trouble with dancing naked is that not everything stops when the music does. - Unknown

Let your life lightly dance on the edges of time, like dew on the tip of a leaf. - Unknown

Dance till the stars come down from the rafters! Dance, Dance, Dance till you drop! - W H Auden

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself. - Mihkail Baryshnikov

There's no one way to dance. And that's kind of my philosophy about everything. - Ellen Degeneres

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

College Professor: A man who gets what's left over after the football coach is paid off - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley

I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal

Eternity: 1. The last two minutes of a football game; 2. The time between you coming and her going. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'd stay away from Ecstasy: this is a drug so strong it makes white people think they can dance. - Lenny Henry

You can't dance at two weddings at the same time; nor can you sit on two horses with one behind. - Yiddish Proverb

Work like you don't need the money, dance like no one is watching, and love like you've never been hurt. - Mark Twain

I don't think much of a dance step where the girl looks like she was being carried out of a burning building. - Kin Hubbard

Shoulder Pads: The part of a football player's uniform designed to make him look as fearsome as a female executive - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono

Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. - Alfred Hitchcock

I was not naturally talented. I didn't sing, dance or act, though working around that minor detail made me inventive. - Steve Martin

Look inside. That way lies dancing to the melodies spun out by your own heart. This is a symphony. All the rest are jingles. - Anna Quindlen

I listened to a football coach who spoke straight from the shoulder - at least I could detect no higher origin in anything he said. - Dixon R Fox

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard


Great Quotes (B)

Wayne's Fish

If You're Happy And You Know It

Deer Hunter Tattoo

Nope, Didn't See A Thing

Man Sues Wife Over Make-Up

Down Under Bronco Riding For Kids

Re-Ewes Me

It's A Keeper

Plankstanders

Millionaire Women

Laptop Cooler

Scan Scam

Motorcycle Taxi

I've Got Time

Clangeroo

Redneck Cooler

Instead Of Flowers

Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian Side

I Love Summer

Karma Towing

Salmon-chanted Evening

Hands On Tree

Fart Facts