Booze Wedding

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

I could not get the ring without the finger. - Thomas Middleton

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson

Onion Rings: Worn by vegetables when they get married - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

I must decline your invitation owing to a subsequent engagement. - Oscar Wilde

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

Effective engagement is inspired by the empathy that develops simply by being human. - Brian Solis

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Without the will, marriage is a mockery; without the emotion, it is a drudgery. You need both. - Ravi Zacharias

Of all sound of all bells... most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year. - Charles Lamb

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

In this year, King Aethelstan, Lord of Warriors, ring-giver to men... won eternal glory, in battle with sword edges, around Brunaburh. - Unknown

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf