#1 humor site on the 'net

Beaver Stretching

It's a Canadian thing, eh!

Beaver Stretching thanks to Marian Renstrom

QuotaBills
Canada was built on dead beavers. - Margaret Atwood

A roof stretching over the Atlantic Ocean. - Ernest Bevin

I get to go to overseas places, like Canada. - Britney Spears

I do some weights and I do a lot of stretching. - Mike Ditka

Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party. - Craig Ferguson

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

Canada has never been a melting pot; more like a tossed salad. - Arnold Edinborough

A physical therapist does some unbelievable stretching with me. - Brian O'Driscoll

You have to know a man awfully well in Canada to know his surname. - John Buchan

If you call ham "Canadian bacon", what do you call bacon? - Michael Kelso

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

Canada is the only country founded on the relentless pursuit of the rodent. - Preston Manning

I was in the ROTC. Of course, ROTC stood for "Running off to Canada." - Jay Leno

I came from Canada, where it's freezing cold for seven months out of the year. - Rachelle Lefevre

Stretching his hand up to reach the stars, too often man forgets the flowers at his feet. - Jeremy Bentham

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

I am on your Walk of Fame in Toronto. My sense of humour is Canadian. But I can't vote. - Donald Sutherland

Why is America the last best hope of Earth? What if it's Liechtenstein? Or, worse, Canada? - Sarah Vowell

Twists are wonderful for whittling your waist, stretching your back, and detoxifying the body. - Mandy Ingber

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill

Trudeau's contribution was not to build Canada but to destroy it, and I had to come in and save it. - Brian Mulroney

I have great, fond memories of Canada. I feel that one day my bones will more than likely end up there. - Aden Young

I've always loved yoga because you get to connect to a deep religious truth while stretching your legs. - Katya Zamolodchikova

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason. - Jimmy Fallon

Canada has given us John Candy and Martin Short and Bill Shatner and Lord knows how many other wonderful performers. - Jamie Farr

I exercise at least five times a week with stretching, Pilates, push-ups, planks, sit-ups, squats and light weights. - Reba McEntire

Canada's political parties spend a few years in opposition and then govern as if it's permanent payback time. - Bob Rae

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

I was born in Canada for a reason. It was because my parents wanted me to have the freedoms that this country offers. - Patrick Chan

Canada is a balloon-puncturing country. You are not really allowed to be an icon unless you also make an idiot of yourself. - Margaret Atwood

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

Let me put it this way. Canada is not so much a country as a holding tank filled with the disgruntled progeny of defeated peoples. - Mordecai Richler

I have a maple leaf tattoo over my heart, quite literally, and my two favorite things on Earth are being in Canada and making movies. - Jay Baruchel

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

A judge who likes every outcome he reaches is very likely a bad judge, stretching for results he prefers rather than those the law demands. - Neil Gorsuch

The 77 cents that women make for every dollar men earn makes a real difference to our families - families stretching to make every dollar count. - Barbara Mikulski


Pentecost Sunday

Nun Chairs - Great Looking Legs

Organ Donor

Moldy Bible

Gyprock Prayer

Barn Art

Submarine Tea

NAACP Cover Up

Quad Shot

Princess Parking

Restaurant Wait-er

How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?

Butterfly Lens

Pike Mouth Nest

Improvise, Adapt, Overcome

Flower Lips

Bird Walker

Never Go Full Retard

Multi-Pilot Jet

Teethbrushes

Dinner Preparation: Here's looking at you!

Picture Perfect

Same Mistake Twice

How To Build A Fence