#1 humor site on the 'net

Beaver Stretching

It's a Canadian thing, eh!

Beaver Stretching thanks to Marian Renstrom

QuotaBills
Canada was built on dead beavers. - Margaret Atwood

I love stretching myself musically. - Liz Phair

I get to go to overseas places, like Canada. - Britney Spears

I don't even know what street Canada is on. - Al Capone

I do some weights and I do a lot of stretching. - Mike Ditka

Canada has two emblems - the beaver and the maple. - John W. Dawson

Canada has always been there to help people who need it. - Justin Trudeau

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. - Robin Williams

Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party. - Craig Ferguson

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

A physical therapist does some unbelievable stretching with me. - Brian O'Driscoll

You have to know a man awfully well in Canada to know his surname. - John Buchan

If you call ham "Canadian bacon", what do you call bacon? - Michael Kelso

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

Canada is the only country founded on the relentless pursuit of the rodent. - Preston Manning

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

I was in the ROTC. Of course, ROTC stood for "Running off to Canada." - Jay Leno

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

When God created the world, he didn't draw a line between Canada and America. - Marianne Williamson

As far as single payer, it works in Canada. It works incredibly well in Scotland. - Donald Trump

Canada is the only country in the world that knows how to live without an identity. - Marshall McLuhan

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

I'm kinda disapointed that Canada isn't like the South Park movie said it was. - Joel Madden

I wake up in the morning, I do a little stretching exercises, pick up the horn and play. - Herb Alpert

Stretching his hand up to reach the stars, too often man forgets the flowers at his feet. - Jeremy Bentham

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

Smell is a long-distance sense, a way of stretching time and finding out in advance what lies ahead. - Lyall Watson

I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill

Make no mistake. Canada is not a bilingual country. In fact it is less bilingual today than it has ever been. - Stephen Harper

Even if you don't have time for a big workout, stretching in the morning and night really changes your body. - Erin Heatherton

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason. - Jimmy Fallon

This hour we are stretching forth our hands with the desire to teach the world the true principles of mercy and justice. - Marcus Garvey

Canada is a balloon-puncturing country. You are not really allowed to be an icon unless you also make an idiot of yourself. - Margaret Atwood

I'm not interested in cutting the feet off my characters or stretching them to make them fit my certain political view. - Margaret Atwood

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear


Ostrich Fill Up

Calory Bomb

Interuption Charge

Reach For Your Dreams

Perception

Jeopardy Measuring Cup

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings