#1 humor site on the 'net

Bald Plug

the Joe-kster's 'Out'look on life

Bald Plug thanks to Mel Hardman

Memory Dump du Jour

QuotaBills
A wig is a wig is a wig. - Billy Zane

Never ask the barber if you need a haircut. - Warren Buffett

Even the worst haircut eventually grows out. - Lisa Kogan

A hair on the head is worth two on the brush. - Oliver Herford

You're only as good as your last haircut. - Fran Lebowitz

I feel old when I see mousse in my opponent's hair. - Andre Aggassi

You can't compete with a six foot five man in a wig. - Shemar Moore

Every day People straighten up the hair, why not the heart? - Ernesto Guevara

There's one good thing about being bald: it's neat. - Milton Berle

Let the wind blow through your hair while you still have some. - Dave Weinbaum

He doesn't dye his hair, he's just prematurely orange. - Gerald Ford

I don't consider myself bald. I'm simply taller than my hair. - Tom Sharp

I have little hair because my brain is so big it pushes the hair out. - Silvio Berlusconi

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? - Lily Tomlin

I used to think I'd like less grey hair. Now I'd like more of it. - Richie Benaud

If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle. - Hillary Clinton

You can't play hockey with a bald spot, so I'm hanging up the skates. - Joe Sakic

I knew I was going bald when it was taking longer and longer to wash my face. - Harry Hill

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

When I was with Andy Warhol, I thought, 'God, his wig looks cheaper than mine!' - Dolly Parton

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald, but if he has fire, women will like him. - Mae West

I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

Whether you're a man or not comes from your heart, not how much hair you have on your head. - Bruce Willis

I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan

It is foolish to tear one's hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less with baldness. - Cicero

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. - George Burns

Middle age is when your classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you. - Bennett Cerf

I benefit from the Mr. Potato Head syndrome. Put a wig and a nose and glasses on me, and I disappear. - Phil Hartman

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

Many of us are at the 'metallic' age - gold in our teeth, silver in our hair, and lead in our pants. - Unknown

You really just want to know that somebody loves you for you. Sometimes you feel like an ATM machine with a wig on it. - Mariah Carey

Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower. - Elayne Boosler

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

I'm acting when I serve as a hostess, when I run my wig business. I was born to act, and life itself is the greatest part. - Eva Gabor

You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair. - Chinese Proverb

You know, sometimes I feel well and vital in the world, and sometimes I just feel so distressed I want to pull my hair out by the roots. - Sharon Stone

His mind is concrete and fastidious,
His nose is remarkably big;
His visage is more or less hideous,
His beard it resembles a wig. - Edward Lear


Redneck Wheelchair Stroller

Best Hands-On Coverage

When Air Was Free

Changing Priorities Ahead

Expired Marriage

No Flies On Me

Goose Walkers

Read Your Book Case

Trash Bin Parking

Train Hits Deer

Dog Face or Dog Butt?

Redneck Carriage Car

Fishing Trip in New Zealand

Baby's Eviction Notice

Australia 101 For Tourists

New Parking Spot For Women

Bestist

Perfect Circle

Work At Home Mom

German Car Parkade

Conversation Chair

Despicable Watermelon

Popcorn Cremation

Bus Stop