#1 humor site on the 'net

Attentive Student

How to relax during a boring lecture

Attentive Student thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Is "tired old cliche" one? - Steven Wright

A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown

Work is the curse of the drinking class. - Oscar Wilde

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

I'm good in bed. I can sleep all day. - Unknown

Life is one long process of getting tired. - Samuel Butler

I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

Dilemma of a student: Should I finish my homework or sleep? - Unknown

Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian. - Herman Melville

A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton

I'm tired of people not treating me like the gift that I am. - Paula Abdul

It is the trouble that never comes that causes the loss of sleep. - Charles Austin Bates

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours. - Arthur Baer

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Man - a creature created at the end of a work week when God was tired. - Mark Twain

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

Plough deep while sluggards sleep, and you shall have corn to sell and to keep. - Benjamin Franklin

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. - Woody Allen

Death had to take him in his sleep, for if he was awake there'd have been a fight. - Theodore Roosevelt

Work hard. Rock hard. Eat hard. Sleep hard. Grow big. Wear glasses if you need 'em. - Webb Wilder

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep... the other wants to know if penguins have knees. - Unknown

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

Life is a classroom. Only those who are willing to be lifelong learners will move to the head of the class. - Zig Ziglar

There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

Our loyalties must transcend our race, our tribe, our class, and our nation; and this means we must develop a world perspective. - Martin Luther King Jr.

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie


Domino Crossing

Family Reunion

Roll Me Over

Hockey PlayHers

Concealed Weapon

Lettuce Face

Devoted Husband

Dental Car

Donut Seeds

Pill Man

Bus Wait Weight

It Should Start

Hi, My Name's Cliff - Drop Over Some Time!

Sparks Recycling

Last Gasp Request

Flower Shop For Men

Canadian Archaeology

Tank Top Security

One Beer A Day

Tennis Hammock

Fare Dodger

Husband of the Year

Bolder Boulder

Shoe Stop