#1 humor site on the 'net

Attentive Student

How to relax during a boring lecture

Attentive Student thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Sleep is the best meditation. - Dalai Lama

Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom. - Francis Bacon

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in. - Evan Davis

I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel

I get tired of talking when I want to be silent. - Henry Rollins

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

Death - the last sleep? No, it is the final awakening. - Walter Scott

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet. - Will Ferrell

Sleep... the most beautiful experience in life - except drink. - WC Fields

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone. - Anthony Burgess

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

I don't want to send them to jail. I want to send them to school. - Adlai Stevenson

Never say never because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion. - Michael Jordan

Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep. - Albert Camus

The enemy of society is middle class and the enemy of life is middle age. - Orson Welles

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. - Emma Lazarus

Class is the sure-footedness that comes with having proved you can meet life. - Ann Landers

There are two kind of air travel in the United States, first class and third world. - Bobby Slayton

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

Never work just for money or power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night. - Marian Wright Edelman

If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver

Most people spend their lives going to bed when they're not sleep, and getting up when they are. - Cindy Adams

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

Life is a classroom. Only those who are willing to be lifelong learners will move to the head of the class. - Zig Ziglar

There is no better coach than life: you attend class everyday; all you have to do is listen to the message. - Carl Hennegan

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

It's like wrestling a gorilla. You don't quit when you're tired - you quit when the gorilla is tired. - Robert Strauss

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

It is good to be tired and wearied by the futile search after the true good, that we may stretch out our arms to the Redeemer. - Blaise Pascal

We are, as a species, addicted to story. Even when the body goes to sleep, the mind stays up all night, telling itself stories. - John Gottschall

The day I made that statement, about inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the camcorder. - Al Gore

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey


Irish Flu Shots

Snake Circle

Romantic Accident

Winter Mirror

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Abbey Road Joe-kster and Bernie

Straws

Chernobyl Fish

Hard Working Cop

Mechanic's Work Table

Canadian Tennis

Swimsuit Police

Waiting For The Perfect Man

Dutch Cowboy

Ship Tow

Fish Walk

Paradigm Shift

Spanish Stairs

TyrannoSnowRus Rex

Hawaii Surfing

Should Have Pulled Out

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Cooking For Guys

One Sushi Is Enough