#1 humor site on the 'net

All Bottled Up

Storing time in bottles

All Bottled Up thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Photographing a cake can be art. - Irving Penn

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

The apple will fall under the apple tree. - Greek Proverb

What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art. - Augustus Saint-Gaudens

Maintenance is as much art as it is science. - Unknown

Vision is the art of seeing things invisible. - Jonathan Swift

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. - Don Marquis

Value Investing: The art of buying low and selling lower - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Advertising is the greatest art form of the twentieth century. - Marshall McLuhan

When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. - Sun Tzu

If thou art a master, be sometimes blind; if a servant, sometimes deaf. - Thomas Fuller

The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron

Zealotry: 1. The enemy of idealism; 2. What a tree salesman likes to do. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The art of life is to know how to enjoy a little and to endure very much. - William Hazlitt

I have nature and art and poetry, and if that is not enough, what is enough? - Vincent van Gogh

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now? - Unknown

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

My grandfather is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. - Henny Youngman

Drawing is the honesty of the art. There is no possibility of cheating. It is either good or bad. - Salvador Dali

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Motivation is the art of getting people to do what you want them to do because they want to do it. - Dwight D Eisenhower

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted in spite of your changing moods. - C S Lewis

A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard

Ethics is in origin the art of recommending to others the sacrifices required for cooperation with oneself. - Bertrand Russell

Art is made to disturb. Science reassures. There is only one valuable thin in art: the thing you cannot explain. - Georges Braque

He that climbs the tall tree has won the right to the fruit; he that leaps the wide gulf should prevail in his suit. - Walter Scott

Toy Soldiers was my introduction to film. I certainly didn't think I was doing art by any stretch of the imagination. - Tim Robbins

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

Art begins with resistance - at the point where resistance is overcome. No human masterpiece has ever been created without great labor. - Andre Gide

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. - C S Lewis

Music embodies feeling without forcing it to contend and combine with thought, as it is forced in most arts and especially in the art of words. - Franz Liszt

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison


Sea Painting

Radish Camouflage

Canadian Twins

Big Birth - They Start Off Big At This Hospital

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Not Stuck

Motorcycle For Sale

Dog Cross

Pigeon Drink

Pittsburghese

Whose Problem

Grasping Shirt

An Evening Prayer

Baby Clone

Piano Ring

Religious Nuts

Funnel Farm

Urinal Challenge

Snow Detour

Redneck GPS

Snow Receiver

Book Perspective

Why Stand In Line?

How Twins Are Made