QuotaBillsElectrical degenerators - Archie Bunker
Clinic: House of pill repute. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown
Defendit numerus: There is safety in numbers. - Unknown
There are no elevators in the house of success. - H.H. Vreeland
Peace and a well-built house cannot be bought too dearly. - Danish Proverb
An empty purse and a new house make a man wise, but too late. - Portuguese Proverb
I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce
It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass
Real Estate: What your house is called during divorce proceedings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Go often to the house of a friend, for weeds choke the unused path. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. - Rose Macaulay
Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg
I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove
I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright
Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown
Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. - Bible
I love contemporary art, although I wouldn't want a pickled shark in my house. - Bruno Tonioli
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz
So finally, the great Jefferson, who always reclined to cross my freshhold is into the house. - Archie Bunker
I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above, so I never have to go upstairs. - Steven Wright
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields
Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford
Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham
I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan
A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin
Eden is that old-fashioned house
We dwell in every day
Without suspecting our abode
Until we drive away. - Emily Dickinson
My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. - Steven Wright
I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright
Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. - David Walton
Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost
I was born by Caesarian section... but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. - Steven Wright
At this late hour a wagon has been procured, and I have had it filled with plate and the most valuable portable articles, belonging to the house. - Dolly Madison
I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright