Whose Problem

Clinic: House of pill repute. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Theater: House of thrill repute - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A plumber's idea of Cleopatra. - WC Fields

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Oscar night at my house is called Passover. - Bob Hope

A road to a friend's house is never long. - Danish Proverb

With great power comes great electricity bill. - Unknown

At my house, Dust is a noun, not a verb. - Unknown

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety. - Aeschylus

If I had my life to live over again, I’d be a plumber. - Albert Einstein

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. - Roseanne Barr

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. - Bible

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel

A gentleman should never leave the house without a sharp knife, a good watch, and great hat. - Unknown

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

Without my pets, my wallet would be full, my house would be clean, but my heart would be empty. - Unknown

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. - WC Fields

Individuality is either the mark of genius or the reverse. Mediocrity finds safety in standardization. - Frederick Crane

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate.
What's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House? - Will Rogers

A squirrel dying in front of your house may be more relevant to your interests right now than people dying in Africa. - Mark Zuckerberg

I am like a pelican of the wilderness: I am like an owl of the desert. I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house-top. - Bible

The worst thing about work in the house or home is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste or eaten within twenty-four hours. - Lady Hasluck

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

At this late hour a wagon has been procured, and I have had it filled with plate and the most valuable portable articles, belonging to the house. - Dolly Madison

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. - Spike Milligan