Whose Problem

Electrical degenerators - Archie Bunker

Clinic: House of pill repute. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

Defendit numerus: There is safety in numbers. - Unknown

There are no elevators in the house of success. - H.H. Vreeland

Peace and a well-built house cannot be bought too dearly. - Danish Proverb

An empty purse and a new house make a man wise, but too late. - Portuguese Proverb

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

Real Estate: What your house is called during divorce proceedings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Go often to the house of a friend, for weeds choke the unused path. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. - Rose Macaulay

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. - Bible

I love contemporary art, although I wouldn't want a pickled shark in my house. - Bruno Tonioli

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

So finally, the great Jefferson, who always reclined to cross my freshhold is into the house. - Archie Bunker

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above, so I never have to go upstairs. - Steven Wright

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin

Eden is that old-fashioned house
We dwell in every day
Without suspecting our abode
Until we drive away. - Emily Dickinson

My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. - Steven Wright

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. - David Walton

Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost

I was born by Caesarian section... but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. - Steven Wright

At this late hour a wagon has been procured, and I have had it filled with plate and the most valuable portable articles, belonging to the house. - Dolly Madison

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright