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Watch Out for the Joe-kster

The Joe-kster's previous life as a Whoopee Cushion

Watch Out for the Joe-kster thanks to Mel Hardman

QuotaBills
Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

But the ultimate lesson is just sit down and write. - Wole Soyinka

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown

Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to unring a bell. - Shana Alexander

McEnroe has got to sit down and work out where he stands. - Fred Perry

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

Smile. It will bring serenity to the most stressful situations. - Garnet Hill

Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown

The best use of laws is to teach men to trample bad laws under their feet. - Wendell Phillips

Age is not different from earlier life as long as you're sitting down. - Malcolm Cowley

God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed. - Ernest Hemingway

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. - Hans Selye

Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up. - Ann Bradford

Most stress is caused by people who overestimate the importance of their problems. - Michael LeBoeuf

Stress depletes willpower, which diminishes your ability to control those emotions. - Roy F Baumeister

No one has the right to sit down and feel hopeless. There's too much work to do. - Dorothy Day

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

In times of great stress or adversity, plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. - Lane Olinghouse

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. - Winston Churchill

Then she thought bitterly that it would be much easier to resist chocolate if her life were less stressful. - J K Rowling

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

She was no longer wrestling with the grief, but could sit down with it as a lasting companion and make it a sharer in her thoughts. - George Eliot

Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

Happiness is as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. - Phyllis Diller


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