#1 humor site on the 'net

Swim Vacation

Little Johnny goes swimming on his summer holidays

Swim Vacation thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Just keep swimming. - Finding Nemo

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. - L.M. Boyd

Unemployment insurance is a pre-paid vacation for freeloaders. - Ronald Reagan

I wanted to be an atheist, but I gave up. They have no holidays. - Henny Youngman

No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one. - Elbert Hubbard

If Autocorrect was a person I would never go on a vacation with it. - Paula Pell

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. - Jay London

To be born in India is to arrive into the world swimming in religion. - Ravi Zacharias

Dear Monday, you should take a holiday. Trust me, no one will miss you. - Unknown

I have spent most of my life playing pool. The rest of it, I have wasted. - Unknown

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation. - Unknown

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning. - C S Lewis

If all the year were playing holidays,
To sport would be as tedious as to work. - William Shakespeare

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

It's the Olympics. If you can't get up to swim early in the morning, don't go. - Michael Phelps

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle

Writing is very much a playground - an artistic playground. It's the most fun thing I do. - Shania Twain

I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me. - Albert Einstein

Life as pool table,
White is focus,
Others, targets.
Stick is your driving force! - Stricketer

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

I've enjoyed many camping holidays with my sister and her children, but we're pretty posh campers. - Erin O'Connor

Celebrate the happiness that friends are always giving, make every day a holiday and celebrate just living! - Amanda Bradley

I keep fit. Every morning, I do a hundred laps of an Olympic-sized swimming pool - in a small motor launch. - Peter Cook

If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool. - Trisha Goddard

Love is hard work. It is the hardest work I know of, work from which you are never entitled to take a vacation. - Ravi Zacharias

For a great gaming experience, make sure the rails, cushion and slate of the pool table are of the best quality. - Unknown

A boss on vacation is the most cost effective measure. Everybody in the office has a vacation at the cost of one. - Thibaut

Airport screeners are now scanning holiday fruitcakes. Not even the scanners can tell what those little red things are. - David Letterman

The evolution of playground equipment has been to this ever safer, less challenging, less interesting assemblies of equipment. - Gever Tulley

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

Vacation Time: That period when the flowers in the home garden are at their best and only the neighbours are around to enjoy them - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton

The great outdoors is a theme with me; a walking holiday in Scotland is perfect - Culloden and the forests of Aviemore are both favourites. - Erin O'Connor

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Grow Food, Not Lawns

Nut Salesman

Long Yellow Things

Ants Know When Something Is Fake

Think Outside

Despicable Wood Stove

Engineering Flowchart

Egotist

Hunter's Dream Wedding

Paddy Field Canal

Grow A Boyfriend

Mars Images

Drumset Motorcycle

Brick Shoes

Custer's Last Stand?

Hand Held Tourist

Curly Heels

Bottle Sneakret

Removed Posts

Second Hand Work

Ostrich Fill Up

Calory Bomb

Interuption Charge

Reach For Your Dreams