#1 humor site on the 'net

Summer Snack

'I heard that Roman soldiers used these for helmets'

Summer Snack thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat. - Mark Twain

Don't let the seeds stop you from enjoying the watermelon. - Unknown

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

Working with Sophia Loren was like being bombed with watermelons. - Alan Ladd

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. - Enrico Caruso

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Life is a slice of watermelon: never without seeds but sweet 'til the bitter end. - Unknown

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Life is like a good watermelon, sweet and juicy... but you still have to pick out the seeds to enjoy every bit of it. - Unknown

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik


Flower Shop For Men

Canadian Archaeology

Tank Top Security

One Beer A Day

Tennis Hammock

Fare Dodger

Husband of the Year

Bolder Boulder

Shoe Stop

Exactly How I Feel

Circle Of Life

Outback Waterhole

Next Week Plans

Cycle Feeding Your Cows

The Fall Of Adam

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Boat Hurdles

Bread Slice

Steak Sale

Take Away Food

Creative Vandalism

History Doesn't Repeat Itself

Flamingo Predator

Irish Pub Restroom