Stretch Elephants

Does running late count as exercise? - Unknown

Done the elephants, done the poverty. - Phil Tufnell

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit. - Phyllis Diller

Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway. - Unknown

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison

Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. - Mark Twain

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

When two elephants fight it is the grass that gets trampled. - African Proverb

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

I often take exercise. Only yesterday I had breakfast in bed. - Oscar Wilde

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

Some of my best friends are illusions. Been sustaining me for years. - Sheila Ballantyne

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away. - Paul Terry

Every time I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. - Robert Hutchins

I get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise. - Barry Gray

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

After exercising I always eat pizza... just kidding. I don't exercise. - Unknown

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. - Todd Stocker

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

The beauty is that people often come here for the stretch, and leave with a lot more. - Liza Ciano

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - Marsha Doble

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx

When you have an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run. - Abraham Lincoln

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got. - WC Fields

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Delegating doesn't mean passing off work you don't enjoy, but letting your employees stretch their skills and judgment. - Harvey Mackay

If you put yourself in a position where you have to stretch outside your comfort zone, then you are forced to expand your consciousness. - Les Brown

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins