Shoddy Goaltending - Not

If you're keeping score, win. - Red Auerbach

Life is a game. Money is how we keep score. - Ted Turner

There's no place in racism for football. - Gareth Thomas

If you don't play to win, why keep score? - Unknown

Soccer: A European warm-up exercise for rioting - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Victor: Your football team's weekly opponent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Academy: A modern school where football is taught - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg

If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score? - Vince Lombardi

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory

Usually the team that scores the most points wins the game. - John Madden

I played a little basketball. Some football in junior high. - Clint Eastwood

My Golden Rule of Networking is simple: Don't keep score. - Harvey Mackay

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

Football Season: The time of the year when girls whistle at men in sweaters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin

Gamekeeper: A soccer goalie who doesn't get upset, despite losing heavily - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

Football Game: A sport where a spectator takes four quarters to finish a fifth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ticket Scalper: A man who enables you to see one football game for the price of five - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are. - Arnold H Glasgow

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

Football: A sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal

Eternity: 1. The last two minutes of a football game; 2. The time between you coming and her going. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game. - Donald Trump

The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score. - Bill Copeland

Relationships are about give and take; not tit-for-tat. If you're keeping score, you'll lose at your own game. - Faydra D. Fields

Shoulder Pads: The part of a football player's uniform designed to make him look as fearsome as a female executive - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. - Alfred Hitchcock

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh

It is easier to find a score of men wise enough to discover the truth than to find one intrepid enough, in the face of opposition, to stand up for it. - A Hodge