Russian Guard Dogs

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything else you do. - Unknown

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts; therefore guard accordingly. - Marcus Aurelius

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

People confuse amassing money with security, but it is not so. What a pity to confuse real security with making money. - Billy Graham

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

Snap-On Gasket Scrapper: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff