#1 humor site on the 'net

Run, Turkey, Run

Will he make it past the plucking station?

Run, Turkey, Run thanks to Mel Hardman

Bernard Matthews - Britain's 'Turkey King' makes one last round

Run, Turkey, Run thanks to Mel Hardman

QuotaBills
Does running late count as exercise? - Unknown

Debase: What a baseball player tags while running - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We're running the company to serve more people. - Mark Zuckerberg

Envy and greed starve on a healthy diet of thanksgiving. - Billy Graham

A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey. - Dolly Parton

What is the use of running when we are not on the right road? - German Proverb

For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown

If at first you don't succeed, you're running about average. - Unknown

I get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise. - Barry Gray

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

The way to make money is to buy when blood is running in the streets. - John D Rockefeller

Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting. - Bill Murray

Thanksgiving, to be truly Thanksgiving, is first thanks, then giving. - Jacob Braude

Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown

One cannot spend one's entire life running into bathrooms when danger calls! - Reif Larsen

Fashion is gentility running away from vulgarity, and afraid of being overtaken. - William Hazlitt

Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them. - Marcus Aurelius

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

Thanksgiving is the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. - Michael Dresser

Go see that turkey for yourself, and see for yourself why you shouldn't see it. - Samuel Goldwyn

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard

If you fall out of that window and break both your legs, don't come running to me. - Groucho Marx

I object to people running down the future. I intend to live the rest of my life there. - Charles F Kettering

We waste a lot of time running after people we could have caught by just standing still. - Mignon McLaughlin

Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

We would worry less if we praised more. Thanksgiving is the enemy of discontent and dissatisfaction. - Harry Ironside

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. - Kurt Vonnegut

The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score. - Bill Copeland

Figure out what you hope for. Live inside that hope, running down its hallways, touching the walls on both sides. - Barbara Kingsolver

Being President is a lot like running a cemetery. You've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening. - Bill Clinton

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

Tarry a moment to watch the chaos of a playground, crayola-colored shirts of running children, all trying out their wings. - Dr. SunWolf

If you're skinny and you can't play hockey in Canada, you aren't left with a lot of options. I was left with running. - Malcolm Gladwell

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin

Got no checkbooks, got no banks,
Still I'd like to express my thanks -
I got the sun in the mornin'
And the moon at night. - Irving Berlin

The music that really turns me on is either running toward God or away from God. Both recognize the pivot, that God is at the center of the jaunt. - Bono

Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light. - Albert Schweitzer


Ostrich Fill Up

Calory Bomb

Interuption Charge

Reach For Your Dreams

Perception

Jeopardy Measuring Cup

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings