#1 humor site on the 'net

Road Press

Ukrainian pavement roller doubles as bumper bump'er

Road Press thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
When you come to a fork in the road, take it. - Yogi Berra

Defendit numerus: There is safety in numbers. - Unknown

The best road to progress is freedom's road. - John F Kennedy

The road to success is always under construction. - Lily Tomlin

Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Skepticism is the first step on the road to philosophy. - Denis Diderot

You often meet your fate on the road you take to avoid it. - French Proverb

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker

Ever notice how irons have a setting for "permanent" press? - Steven Wright

For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news. - Gloria Borger

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright

God made the world round so we would never be able to see too far down the road. - Unknown

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

My father had a piano that was a nickelodeon - put a nickel, and the roller would play. - Frank Sinatra

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges. - Jack Handy

I think every entrepreneur in Canada owes the next generation a road map of how to do it again. - Kevin O'Leary

There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth - not going all the way, and not starting. - Buddha

Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

A good financial plan is a road map that shows us exactly how the choices we make today will affect our future. - Alexa Von Tobel

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you. - Calvin Coolidge

To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life; foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent. - Buddha

Our minds are as different as our faces: we are all traveling to one destination; happiness; but few are going by the same road. - Charles Caleb Colton

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness. As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Never look down to test the ground before taking your next step; only he who keeps his eye fixed on the far horizon will find his right road. - Dag Hammarskjold

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele


Multi-Pour Coffee Pot

Things Bottled Up

Cake Message

SnowCut

Depressing Situation

Starbucks Goes Extra Mile

Turbo Snail

Power Outage

Beijing Redneck

Late Lecture

Escapism

Wine Secret

It's All Mine

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Big Card Game

Sweet Chopper

Spaghetti Tree

Inglish Spikkers Welcom

Where Astronauts Hang Out

Wrap Around Tree

Take The Bus Home

Bent Car Sculpture

International Truck Bed

Strong Man