Ritz Nursing Home

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Caring is the essence of nursing. - Jean Watson

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

About half my time is spent on business operation type stuff. - Mark Zuckerberg

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller