Redneck Doork

Turkish Bath: A pool room - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Can Opener: Key to the washroom - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When one door shuts, a hundred open. - Spanish Proverb

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

If you want the girl next door, go next door. - Joan Crawford

Rapscallion: A door knocker shaped like an onion - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

Opportunity may knock, but you must open the door. - Unknown

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

I see the poem or the novel ending with an open door. - Michael Ondaatje

At the deaf man's door, knock as much as you like. - Greek Proverb

I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open. - Steven Wright

Like toilet paper, laughter is in short supply these days. - Phil Callaway

It's always darkest just before the fridge door opens. - Phil Callaway

Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot. - Clarence Thomas

If you shut your door to all errors, truth will be shut out. - Rabindranath Tagore

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. - Flora Whittemore

Shut the door will the 2 of yas, we're catchin' ammonia. - Archie Bunker

A man who does not plan long ahead will find trouble at his door. - Confucius

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. - Ogden Nash

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

listen; there's a hell of a good universe next door: let's go - e e cummings

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

Follow your bliss and doors will open where there were no doors before. - Joseph Campbell

Love unlocks doors and opens windows that weren't even there before. - Mignon McLaughlin

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. - John Barrymore

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

Never knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run away. Death hates that. - Matt Frewer

Temptation usually comes in through a door that has deliberately been left open. - Arnold Glasow

Everybody needs his memories. They keep the wolf of insignificance from the door. - Saul Bellow

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

If a door slams shut it means that God is pointing to an open door further on down. - Anna Delaney Peale

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

Imagination, of course, can open any door - turn the key and let terror walk right in. - Truman Capote

Some people not only expect opportunity to knock, they expect it to beat the door down. - Unknown

Hiring someone to write your autobiography is like hiring someone to take a bath for you. - Mae West

You know that I'm at death's door. But the trouble is that I'm afraid to knock. - W Somerset Maugham

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

When you get to my age, life seems little more than one long march to and from the lavatory. - John Mortimer

At the door of life, by the gate of breath, there are worse things waiting for men than death. - A.C. Swinburne The Triumph Of Time

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

I love Valentine's Day! I love it, I love it, I love it. I like having doors opened for me. - Ginnifer Goodwin

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

Field hockey is my strongest sport, and if I lose a game, I take a long, hot bath and moan about it. - Emma Watson

Have you ever wondered why opportunity only knocks once, yet temptation bangs on the door constantly? - Unknown

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Happiness is something that comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open. - Rose Wilder Lane

Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window - or break down a door. - Brooke Shields

May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

“But it doesn't take a thousand men to open a door, my lord."
"It might to keep it open.” - Ursula K. Le Guin

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

The truth knocks on the door and you say, "Go away, I'm looking for the truth," and so it goes away. Puzzling. - Robert M Pirsig

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

It's like running a marathon race. We train all hours of the day. When you are taking a bath, you are thinking of the flight. - Kalpana Chawla

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." - Phyllis Diller

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. - Helen Keller