#1 humor site on the 'net

Photo Op

There is always someone who ruins the photo

Photo Op thanks to Barry Leinbach

QuotaBills
The secret to humor is surprise. - Aristotle

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise. - Alice Walker

Noise creates illusions. Silence brings truth. - Maxime Lagace

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself. - Steve Martin

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

Some of my best friends are illusions. Been sustaining me for years. - Sheila Ballantyne

It's practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry. - Joe Moore

I would love to voice an animated penguin or platypus at some point. - Jack Falahee

Never say never because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion. - Michael Jordan

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

The husband who desires to surprise is often very much surprised himself. - Voltaire

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore

If you look like your passport photo, then in all probability you need the journey. - Earl Wilson

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

Wishes and fears are illusions, Dil Bahadur, not realities. You must practice detachment. - Isabel Allende

It's great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise people. - Pamela Anderson

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

That the Pearl Harbor attack should have succeeded in achieving surprise seems a blessing from heaven. - Hideki Tojo

What a surprise to find you could shift the contents of your head like rearranging furniture in a room. - Lisa Alther

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

Dreams or illusions, call them what you will, they lift us from the commonplace of life to better things. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached. - Simone Weil

No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader. - Robert Frost

Don't tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results. - George S Patton

I'm into all that sappy stuff - a surprise picnic, nice dinner, or traveling. I'm kind of an old romantic. - Will Estes

I felt I'd earned the Good Housekeeping Seal when I designed an oval-shaped spaghetti pot, because spaghetti is long. - Rachael Ray

Nothing is a surprise to God; nothing is a setback to His plans; nothing can thwart His purposes; and nothing is beyond His control. - Joni Eareckson Tada

We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die. - W H Auden

Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik


Calling In Sick - Snow Job for the Boss

Look At It This Way

Camouflaged Owls

Snow Geese

Quantum Physiques

Typewriter Parts

Irish Flu Shots

Hawaii Scuba Bus

Winter Blues

Pink Freud

Geriatric Flight

Chili Rub

Safety Pin Face

New York's Morning Cup of Java

Pole Position

Before Political Correctness

Tooth Loss

Organic Compromise

Classic Ballet Ad

Redneck Air Conditioning Controls

End Of World Car Sale

Digging Up A Date

Tomato Sprouts

Shuttle Bus Driver