#1 humor site on the 'net

Parent Delete

Suddenly our inflatable raft felt lighter...

Parent Delete thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

This is the place to be - in the land of swimming pools. - David Hockney

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I know love at first sight can work. It happened to my parents. - George Clooney

Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin

To be born in India is to arrive into the world swimming in religion. - Ravi Zacharias

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

Future generations may well ask themselves, what were our parents thinking? - Al Gore

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent. - Dave Barry

My parents treated my like I had a brain - which, in turn, caused me to have one. - Diane Lane

Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. - Bible

It's only when the tide goes out that you learn who's been swimming naked. - Warren Buffett

Most stress is caused by people who overestimate the importance of their problems. - Michael LeBoeuf

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. - Clarence Darrow

It's the Olympics. If you can't get up to swim early in the morning, don't go. - Michael Phelps

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave
when they think that their children are naive. - Ogden Nash

I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight. - Mark Twain

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. - Lane Olinghouse

Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn't have anything to do with it. - Haim Ginott

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. - Unknown

Parents should leave books lying around marked "forbidden" if they want their children to read. - Doris Lessing

If a child, a spouse, a life partner, or a parent depends on you and your income, you need life insurance. - Suze Orman

I keep fit. Every morning, I do a hundred laps of an Olympic-sized swimming pool - in a small motor launch. - Peter Cook

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

I was born in Canada for a reason. It was because my parents wanted me to have the freedoms that this country offers. - Patrick Chan

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? - Dylan Moran

Juvenile Delinquent: 1. A youngster who has been given a free hand but not in the proper place; 2. A kid who starts acting like his parents. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson


Friendly BBQ Reminder

Geek Piano

Ugly Haircut

XL Safety Shoes

Dance With Me

Secret Exit

Drawing A Fine Line

Fastest Land Mammal

First Driving Lesson

Foot-Ball

Vantastic

Ford Was All We Had

Mustang Limo

Mom Tested, Mom Approved

Suddenly An Oven

Lego Sushi

Got Your Nose

Covid-19 Protection

Vuvuzela Hits

You Are Grounded

Crosswalk Climber

Happy ARRRRRRRHH!

City Beach Castle

Martini Shirt