QuotaBillsDr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper
Every disease is a physician. - Irish Proverb
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown
Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Time is a physician that heals every grief. - Diphilus
Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb
When fate arrives the physician becomes a fool. - Arabic proverb
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher
Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw
Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. - Romania Proverb
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler
Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The sorrow which has no vent in tears may make other organs weep. - Henry Maudsley
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte
Symptoms, then are in reality nothing but the cry from suffering organs. - Jean-Martin Charcot
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things. - Gilbert Gottfried
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold
The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel
When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
Barium: 1. What Doctors do when treatment fails; 2. What you do when CPR fails. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman
Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold
A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
The good physician treats the disease; the great physician treats the patient who has the disease. - William Osler
Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce
My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon. - Eric Ericksen
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man - he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown
Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer
Laughter is a form of internal jogging. It moves your internal organs around. It enhances respiration. It is an igniter of great expectation. - Norman Cousins
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct. - Samuel Butler
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler