#1 humor site on the 'net

Nut Salesman

Make me a nut-e offer!

Nut Salesman thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Moose are the squirrels of Alaska. - Tim Moon

I'm a nut, but not just a nut. - Bill Murray

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. - James Goldsmith

Love your enemy - it'll drive him nuts. - Unknown

Avoid fruit and nuts. You are what you eat. - Jim Davis

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat. - Jim Davis

A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit. - Sarah J. Parker

God gives the nuts, but He does not crack them. - German proverb

The squirrel that you kill in jest, dies in earnest. - Henry David Thoreau

Why leave the nut you got for one you don't know? - Loretta Lynn

Men cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter. - James A Garfield

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson

Everyone, in some small sacred sanctuary of the self, is nuts. - Leo Rosten

It's easy to smile when you have a squirrel's intellect. - Dylan Moran

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. - Charlie Brown

Make a tamale with peanut butter and jelly. Go ahead! Somebody will eat it. - Bobby Flay

I need God's grace and something baked with peanut butter and chocolate. - Gloria Furman

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts. - Orson Welles

Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. - Unknown

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

A squirrel dying in front of your house may be more relevant to your interests right now than people dying in Africa. - Mark Zuckerberg

Grammar: 1. Lives with granpar; 2. The difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You’re Nuts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn't make a decision. - Unknown

I'm not an equipment nut. I tend to use whatever's at hand. I have several cameras, of course, but I'm not emotional about any of them. - Leonard Nimoy


Dementia Purse

Hedge Race Car

Quebec Stop Sign

Perkatory

Bike Storage

Playground Child Eliminator

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Sidecar

Glass World - Where Plumbers Buy

Three Wise Women

Wrench Dinosaur

One More Drop

Idling Eric Idle

High Heel Diver

Rising To The Occasion

Annual Meeting of the Ontario Summer Tires Club

I See You

Get Off Your High Horse

Redneck Towing

Revenge of the Stallion

Rat Cut

Spot the Hidden Barred Owl

Smoking Hot Body

Billy the Eagle Owl