#1 humor site on the 'net

Nut Salesman

Make me a nut-e offer!

Nut Salesman thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Moose are the squirrels of Alaska. - Tim Moon

I'm a nut, but not just a nut. - Bill Murray

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. - James Goldsmith

Love your enemy - it'll drive him nuts. - Unknown

Avoid fruit and nuts. You are what you eat. - Jim Davis

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat. - Jim Davis

A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit. - Sarah J. Parker

God gives the nuts, but He does not crack them. - German proverb

The squirrel that you kill in jest, dies in earnest. - Henry David Thoreau

Why leave the nut you got for one you don't know? - Loretta Lynn

Men cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter. - James A Garfield

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson

Everyone, in some small sacred sanctuary of the self, is nuts. - Leo Rosten

It's easy to smile when you have a squirrel's intellect. - Dylan Moran

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. - Charlie Brown

Make a tamale with peanut butter and jelly. Go ahead! Somebody will eat it. - Bobby Flay

I need God's grace and something baked with peanut butter and chocolate. - Gloria Furman

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts. - Orson Welles

Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. - Unknown

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

A squirrel dying in front of your house may be more relevant to your interests right now than people dying in Africa. - Mark Zuckerberg

Grammar: 1. Lives with granpar; 2. The difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You’re Nuts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn't make a decision. - Unknown

I'm not an equipment nut. I tend to use whatever's at hand. I have several cameras, of course, but I'm not emotional about any of them. - Leonard Nimoy


Odor Detector

Associate Demonstration

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Biden in the Oval Office

Poor Fishing Day

Mustache Breeze

Chain Weave Hairstyle

Jar of Birds

Wheely Unstable

Roman Segway Chariot

Rocky Orders

Snowmobile Races - Get There Early

Pocket Change

Welcome to Texas, USPS

Not Without A Washer

Jogger's Weight Scale

Toilet Snake

Eye Testing In Progress

Parent Signature

Long Bore Gun

Bird Cam

Lost Wormhole

Where Weir'd Frogmen Jump In

Low Ceiling Workout