#1 humor site on the 'net

New Nail Gun

Toys for Boys

This DeWALT Nail Gun can drive a 16-D nail through a 2 X 4 at 200 yards, making construction a breeze. Sit in your lawn chair and build a fence! Just get your wife to hold the fence boards in place while you sit back, relax with a cold drink - and when she has the board in the right place, just fire away. With the hundred round magazine, you can build the fence with a minimum of reloading. After a day of fence building with the new DeWalt Rapid fire nail gun, the wife will not ask you to build or fix anything else, ever again!
New Nail Gun thanks to Jim Serritella

Bypassing gun control laws

And it’s for everyone who would rather not have a gun in the house! In view of the recent Supreme Court ruling, sales of this new product may skyrocket. Washington thinks they are going to take away our guns, so check this out. A nail gun that you don’t even have to register, or have licenses for! And, you don’t have to worry about them being concealed!

QuotaBills
Gun Control: Using both hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

Building a business is a marathon, not a sprint. - Taavet Hinrikus

The road to success is always under construction. - Lily Tomlin

Shooting Star: A famous actor who uses his gun too often - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

Carpenter: 1. A guy who nails down his agreement; 2. A shelf made man. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. - Dave Barry

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

Building a visionary company requires one percent vision and 99 percent alignment. - Jim Collins

It's better to have a gun and need it, than to not have a gun and not need it. - Ricky

What really motivates people at Facebook is building stuff that they're proud of. - Mark Zuckerberg

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

Like trying a man's finger for having pulled the trigger of a gun which murdered someone. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

The policemen or soldiers are only a gun in the establishments hand. They make the racist secure in his racism. - Huey Newton

I don't think much of a dance step where the girl looks like she was being carried out of a burning building. - Kin Hubbard

God is in the resume-building business. He is always using past experiences to prepare us for future opportunities. - Mark Batterson

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. - P G Wodehouse

My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them. - Steven Wright

Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas. - Joseph Stalin

NASA scientists have been studying giraffe skin so they can apply what they learn from it to the construction of spacesuits. - Joanna Lumley

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair. - Chinese Proverb

I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind - the answer is twelve. I think I'm in the wrong building. - Charles Schulz

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

Suspense is very important. Even though this is humor and they're short stories, that theory of building suspense is still there. - Sergio Aragones

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

In this industry, there are only two ways up the ladder. Rung by rung or claw your way to the top. It's sure been tough on my nails. - Jack Nicholson

Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process, gradually changing opinions, slowly eroding old barriers, quietly building new structures. - John F Kennedy

I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves. - Anna Quindlen

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

The key to building confidence is getting out there and trying new things. Once you go down the path once, it's a breeze the second time! - Bruno Logrecco

When a man's suit fits, when the construction is beautiful, when the sewing and fabrics are there - in the end, you'll look the best in it. - John Varvatos

When I walk down the street in New York, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, "Hey, you hockey puck!" - Don Rickles


2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Ship Tow

Fish Walk

Paradigm Shift

Spanish Stairs

TyrannoSnowRus Rex

Hawaii Surfing

Should Have Pulled Out

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Cooking For Guys

One Sushi Is Enough

Before Online Dating

Wood Trike

Crow Species

Young or Old Swimmer?

Japanese Keyboard

Baby Peephole

Exit Not Found

Cat Burglar

Foot Race

Lockdown Advice

Wii Way

Odor Detector

Associate Demonstration