Looking Small

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

No matter how small the star is, it still shines. - John McKinley Pride Jr.

Ill can he rule the great that cannot reach the small. - Edmund Spenser

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

Everyone, in some small sacred sanctuary of the self, is nuts. - Leo Rosten

Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs. - Henry Ford

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out. - Robert Collier

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. - Mark Twain

Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies. - Mother Teresa

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. - Red Skelton

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love. - Tom Robbins

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

In every difficult situation is potential value. Believe this, then begin looking for it. - Norman Vincent Peale

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle

The thing I remember about New York was how little I felt. I arrived with one small bag and $15. - Desi Arnaz

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

Faithfulness in small things leads to faithfulness in great things, and never the other way around. - Jerry L. Lewis

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

The control of large numbers is possible, and like unto that of small numbers, if we subdivide them. - Sun Tze

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps. - David Lloyd George

You can't deny laughter. When it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants. - Stephen King

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas. - Paula Poundstone

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that's less than the one you're capable of living. - Nelson Mandela

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen