#1 humor site on the 'net

I'm Here!

When looking for the obvious may not be so obvious

I'm Here! thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Fowl: A four-letter bird. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I want to paint the way a bird sings. - Claude Monet

Crowbar: Where birds can get a drink. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wishing to be a bird so you can Fly Away. - Unknown

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. - English Proverb

Heavenly bodies are nests of invisible birds. - Dejan Stojanovic

Was there a bird for the souls of people like me? - Ruta Sepetys

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings. - William Blake

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. - Salvador Dali

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm gets eaten. - Norman Augustine

The bird is powered by its own life and by its motivation. - Abdul Kalam

I never wanted to weigh more heavily on a man than a bird. - Coco Chanel

The early bird catches the worm, eats more, and dies sooner. - Czech Proverb

Egg: 1. A day's work for a hen; 2. A bird's hometown. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame. - Kohta Hirano

A bird in the hand is a certainty, but a bird in the bush may sing. - Bret Harte

The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp. - John Berry

I would love to voice an animated penguin or platypus at some point. - Jack Falahee

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. - Steven Wright

I know of only one bird (the parrot) that talks; and it can't fly very high. - Wilbur Wright

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song. - Lou Holtz

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will. - Charlotte Bronte

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return. - Jewish Proverb

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance. - e e cummings

Learn to adapt like a bird. We can only dream of flying, but the bird has already grown her wings. - Debasish Mridha

We could not understand that there was anything about a bird that could not be built on a larger scale. - Orville Wright

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best. - Henry Van Dyke

The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair. - Chinese Proverb

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. - Steven Wright

The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing. - Eric Berne

A male frigate bird blows up a wild red pouch on his neck. He can keep it puffed up for hours. It is his way of impressing the girls. - Julie Murphy

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

There is nothing in which the birds differ more from man than the way in which they can build and yet leave a landscape as it was before. - Robert Lynd

Be like the bird that, passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings. - Victor Hugo


Socialist Job

Graveyard Sundae

Portable Dog Carriers

No More Arguing

Transformers Garage

Soccer Ball Building

Country Office

Lord Of The Rinse

Introvert Soap

No Drowning

Window View

Vanishing Underwater Roller Coaster

Simple Surgery

Applelicious

Fried Eggs - Military Style

Tourist Baggage

Amish Sailboat

Aging Cyclist

Best Tea Cup

Shoddy Goaltending - Not

Roller Derby Princess

Redneck Hotter Tub

Walk The Line

Sidewalk Jammies