#1 humor site on the 'net

Helicopter Cuts

When not to be on the cutting edge

Helicopter Cuts thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
Breathing dreams like air. - F Scott Fitzgerald

Private jets cost a lot of money. - Donald Trump

There is no flying without wings. - French Proverb

Owning a drone does not a pilot make. - Alex Morritt

Mothers are angels that lift us when we cannot fly. - Unknown

You cannot fly like an eagle with the wings of a wren. - William Henry Hudson

Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly? - Frida Kahlo

Luck is like having a rice dumpling fly into your mouth. - Japanese Proverb

He imagines a necessary joy in things that must fly to eat. - Wendell Berry

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us air tickets. - Mel Brooks

I think being a dragon would be pretty awesome... you get to fly. - Josh Keaton

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. - Steven Wright

Our Air Corps reunion was held to rememmorate the great things we done. - Archie Bunker

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. - Henry David Thoreau

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

The nation that secures control of the air will ultimately control the world. - Alexander Graham Bell

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

Matt would be fantastic for New York if the Jets were lucky enough to get him. - Donald Trump

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore

The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it. - J.M. Barrie

It's OK to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation. - Rob Gilbert

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

You can't fly with the owls by night and expect to keep up with the eagles during the day. - Unknown

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do. - Golda Meir

I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore

Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. - Plato

I am the astronaut of boxing. Joe Louis and Jack Dempsey were just jet pilots. I'm in a world of my own. - Muhammad Ali

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

A drone is often preferred for missions that are too 'dull, dirty, or dangerous' for manned aircraft. - Nick Hahn

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. - Henry Ford

The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all. - Robert Orben

With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. - Rodney Dangerfield

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them. - Henry David Thoreau

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong


Extreme Value

Spotted Spotters

Ant Attack

Facebook Closure

African Meal on Wheels

Hadoukens

Free Gas

Wannabe Shoplifter

Breaker Bypass

Ice Hand

Invisible Homeless Man

No Muff Too Tough

Safe Removals

Yoga Business Card

Segway in Rural Norway

Mom Lookout

Dog Diner

It's Too Cold To Ride Outside

Ye Olde Simple Simon

High Tensile Snow

Target Entry

Squirrel Feeder Trap

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Florida Sewer Rat