#1 humor site on the 'net

Halloween Warning

Ghoulfriend's flight path - don't text and fly

Halloween Warning thanks to Barry McCartney

Halloween Warning thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
No gold, no Holy Ghost. - Samuel Butler

Ghost Writer: Spooksman - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

Art is a house that tries to be haunted. - Emily Dickinson

Forget Cutie, I'd rather be Pumpkin! - Unknown

Mind sees ghost when frightened and hopeless. - Toba Beta

Costumes and scenery alone will not attract audiences. - Anna Held

At night, here in the library, the ghosts have voices. - Alberto Manguel

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Only the knife knows what goes on in the heart of a pumpkin. - Simone Schwarz-Bart

I don't believe in ghosts but they blindly believe in me. - Amit Abraham

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting. - Lorna Luft

I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it. - Katharine McPhee

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. - Steve Almond

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck

You cannot climb the ladder of success dressed in the costume of failure. - Zig Ziglar

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

In one aspect, yes, I believe in ghosts, but we create them. We haunt ourselves. - Laurie H. Anderson

The ghosts of things that never happened are worse than the ghosts of things that did. - L.M. Montgomery

Corpse pose restores life. Dead parts of your being fall away, the ghosts are released. - Unknown

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

Monsters are real, and ghosts are real, too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win. - Stephen King

Maybe all the people who say ghosts don't exist are just afraid to admit that they do. - Michael Ende

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

I'd rather sit alone on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion. - Henry David Thoreau

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?' - Drew Carey

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

I was Ashallayn’darkmyr Tallyn, son of Mab, former prince of the Unseelie Court, and I was not afraid of a witch on a broom. - Julie Kagawa

It is good for a man to invite his ghosts into his warm interior, out of the wild night, into the firelight, out of the howling dark. - A.S. Byatt

Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good one are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon. - Unknown

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. - Conan O'Brien


Ping Wrong

Tree House

Skull Violins

Finger Phone

Family Bike

Airless See-Through Tires

Aussie Motorcycle

Statue Selfie

Bacon Sandwich

Elephant Hand

Unless Your Dog Can Do This

Dragon Buoy

Cat On A Hot Tin Roof

Bird Melons

Local Crabs

Black Golfer

Ostrich Imprint

Tea Party Weapon

Extra Space Bed

Unattended Children

ThrowYo

Cell Phone Warning

Umbrella Protection and Non-Protection

Husband Creche