#1 humor site on the 'net

Fast Closure

Just then the door jammed...

Fast Closure thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Be an opener of doors. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Free men do not ask permission to bear arms. - Thomas Jefferson

Defendit numerus: There is safety in numbers. - Unknown

If you want the girl next door, go next door. - Joan Crawford

Those who trade liberty for security have neither. - John Adams

He who cannot bear misfortune is truly unfortunate. - Greek Proverb

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown

Things that were hard to bear are sweet to remember. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit. - Moliere

Not knowing when the dawn will come I open every door. - Emily Dickinson

I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open. - Steven Wright

Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety. - Aeschylus

It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value. - Arthur C. Clarke

We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Hunting isn't just something I do. It's part of who I am. - Unknown

listen; there's a hell of a good universe next door: let's go - e e cummings

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

It's not the bulls or the bears you need to avoid, it's the bum steers. - Chuck Hillis

We make our friends. We make our enemies. But God makes our next-door neighbour. - G K Chesterton

Most stress is caused by people who overestimate the importance of their problems. - Michael LeBoeuf

I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti

Real joy seems to me almost as unlike security or prosperity as it is unlike agony. - C S Lewis

If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is: infinite. - William Blake

I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park. - Dolly Parton

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. - C S Lewis

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

Our life's a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly, or bear its troubles patiently. - Palladas

Let us be of good cheer, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those that will never happen. - James Russell Lowell

The vine bears three kinds of grapes: the first of pleasure, the second of intoxication, the third of disgust. - Diogenes

You can spend your precious energy beating down closed doors, or you can choose the doors that open when you knock. - Unknown

People confuse amassing money with security, but it is not so. What a pity to confuse real security with making money. - Billy Graham

May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings

My best security is within the munitions of an immutable Jehovah, where His unalterable promises stand like giant walls of rock. - Charles H Spurgeon

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. - C S Lewis

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds


African Airstrip

Horsepower vs Torque

Filling Up Is OverRated

Flywood

Ukraine Aid

Handicap Motorcyclist

Auto Warranty: New Extend-ed Coverage

Messerschmitt

UNinvolved

Plane Oops!

Manitoba Home Security System

Outdoor Pool

Working From Home

Snowbound Train

Smirnoff Women

Redneck Dent Repair

Cocktail Shirt

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Boy George or Boy Gorge?

Tall Guy Bike

Lord Voldemort Rock

Illusionary

Copperhead Tree

Dream Big