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Employee Happiness Kit

Cheap management solution to cope with work overload

IMPORTANCE NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEES All personnel will now be required to look happy while working. Company approved supplies will be provided to each employee at no cost. Workload getting to you? Feeling stressed? Too many priorities and assignments? Here is the new company approved solution to cope with multiple priorities and assignments!
Employee Happiness Kit thanks to Barry McCartney

Fig. 1: Each employee will be supplied 2 paper clips and rubber bands

Employee Happiness Kit thanks to Barry McCartney

Fig. 2: Assemble items as shown

Employee Happiness Kit thanks to Barry McCartney

Fig. 3: Apply as shown

Enjoy your day. This new office equipment will help you to reach the end of a productive work day with a smile on your face!
The Management Team

QuotaBills
No one is happy all his life long. - Euripides

The modern work of art is a symbol. - Herbert Read

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided. - Mark Twain

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring

Growth itself contains the germ of happiness. - Pearl S. Buck

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch. - Ogden Nash

Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work. - Aristotle

Happiness is a place between too much and too little. - Finnish Proverb

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. - Steven Wright

We are no longer happy, so soon as we wish to be happier. - Walter Savage Landor

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Hard work is the best remedy for all of life's trials. - Unknown

Marathon Runner: A person who is happy to be over the hill - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only way on earth to multiply happiness is to divide it. - Paul Scherer

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work. - Richard Bach

From each according to his ability, to each according to his work - Claude de Rouvroy

Talent is no match for hard work, determination, and perseverance. - Unknown

Love and work are to people, what water and sunshine are to plants. - Jonathan Haidt

The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness. - Eric Hoffer

Seek to do good, and you will find that happiness will run after you. - Unknown

The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play. - Arnold J Toynbee

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. - Thomas Edison

Amateurs wait for inspiration. The rest of us just get up and go to work. - Chuck Close

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

Communism is like prohibition - it's a good idea but it won't work. - Will Rogers

Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it. - Jacques Prevert

In all climates, under all skies, man's happiness is always somewhere else. - Giacomo Leopardi

Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions. - Mark Twain

I measure my own success as a leader by how well the people who work for me succeed. - Maria Shi

Love is what happens when two hearts find their happy place right beside each other. - Unknown

I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon. - Ellen Degeneres

Work for the Lord. The pay isn't much, but the retirement plan is out of this world. - Unknown

I never looked at hockey as work. Now that I'd finished playing, I had to go to work. - Bobby Orr

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. - R.E. Shay

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired, and get paid just enough money not to quite. - George Carlin

Children aren't happy without something to ignore, and that's what parents were created for. - Ogden Nash

If A is success in life, then A = X + Y + Z. Work is X, play is Y, and Z is keeping your mouth shut. - Albert Einstein

Economists are people who work with numbers but who don't have the personality to be accountants. - Unknown

If I could I would always work in silence and obscurity, and let my efforts be known by their results. - Emily Bronte

My cell phone is acting up - I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work. - Unknown

We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it. - George Bernard Shaw

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. - Bertrand Russell

My family didn't have a lot of money, and I'm grateful for that. Money is the longest route to happiness. - Evangeline Lilly

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

The only work that will ultimately bring any good to any of us is the work of contributing to the healing of the world. - Marianne Williamson

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. - Albert Schweitzer

You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28

Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn't stop to enjoy it. - William Feather

In order to have great happiness you have to have great pain and unhappiness - otherwise how would you know when you're happy? - Leslie Caron

When your heart is broken, your boats are burned: nothing matters any more. It is the end of happiness and the beginning of peace. - George Bernard Shaw

Dream big - dream very big. Word hard - work very hard. And after you've done all you can, you stand, wait, and fully surrender. - Oprah Winfrey

Happiness, not money or prestige, should be regarded as the ultimate currency - the currency by which we take measure of our lives. - Tal Ben-Shahar

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball,
And that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all. - Ogden Nash

I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery - air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, 'This is what it is to be happy.' - Sylvia Plath

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about. - Dale Carnegie

There are two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group - there is much less competition. - Indira Gandhi

A leader is best when people barely know that he exists. When his work is done and his aim fulfilled, they will say, 'We did it ourselves.' - Lao Tzu

What brought me into the TV business is what keeps me here and happy. You can learn something new every day if you have a really positive attitude. - Katie Couric

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown


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