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Employee Happiness Kit

Cheap management solution to cope with work overload

IMPORTANCE NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEES All personnel will now be required to look happy while working. Company approved supplies will be provided to each employee at no cost. Workload getting to you? Feeling stressed? Too many priorities and assignments? Here is the new company approved solution to cope with multiple priorities and assignments!
Employee Happiness Kit thanks to Barry McCartney

Fig. 1: Each employee will be supplied 2 paper clips and rubber bands

Employee Happiness Kit thanks to Barry McCartney

Fig. 2: Assemble items as shown

Employee Happiness Kit thanks to Barry McCartney

Fig. 3: Apply as shown

Enjoy your day. This new office equipment will help you to reach the end of a productive work day with a smile on your face!
The Management Team

QuotaBills
I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Bacon, The source of all happiness. - Samuel V.D. Evans

A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

Primitive Artist: An amateur whose work sells - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Way past Happy Hour. Working on Happy Weekend. - Jim Farley

The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender. - Vince Lombardi

The only way to do great work is to love what you do. - Steve Jobs

Happiness is not an ideal of reason, but imagination. - Immanuel Kant

Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty. - Leo Rosten

The best way to find happiness is to stop looking so hard. - Kermit the Frog

There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved. - George Sand

People should find happiness in the little things, like family. - Amanda Bynes

All of our technology is completely unnecessary to a happy life. - Tom Hodgkinson

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

One dollar for eternal happiness? I'd be happier with the dollar. - Charles Montgomery Burns

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. - Andre Maurois

The secret to happiness is to face the fact that the world is horrible. - Bertrand Russell

Technology is a word that describes something that doesn't work yet. - Douglas Adams

When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy. - Samuel Goldwyn

A good way I know to find happiness is to not bore a hole to fit the plug. - Josh Billings

Happiness is not a matter of events, it depends upon the tides of the mind. - Alice Meynell

Happiness is always the serendipitous result of looking for something else. - Idel Dreimer

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation. - Unknown

Man only likes to count his troubles; he doesn't calculate his happiness. - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

A sure way to lose happiness is to want it at the expense of everything else. - Bette Davis

When you work with somebody, either the puzzle piece fits, or it doesn't. - Gary Goetzman

The moment you think you understand a great work of art, it's dead for you. - Oscar Wilde

To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness. - Bertrand Russell

Leadership is the art of giving people a platform for spreading ideas that work. - Seth Godin

A professional is one who does his best work when he feels the least like working. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy. - Guillaume Apollinaire

If I have one advantage, it's that I will try to work harder than the next guy. - Jay Leno

The productivity of work is not the responsibility of the worker but of the manager. - Peter F Drucker

Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you. - Saint Augustine

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

Happiness is beneficial for the body but it is grief that develops the power of the mind. - Marcel Proust

It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary to be rich. - Alan Alda

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

The discovery of a new dish does more for the happiness of mankind than the discovery of a star. - Jean Brillat-Savarin

The surest way to establish your credit is to work yourself into the position of not needing any. - Maurice Switzer

Work while you have the light. You are responsible for the talent that has been entrusted to you. - Henri F Amiel

The secret of being happy is accepting where you are in life and making the most out of every day. - Unknown

To find out what one is fitted to do, and to secure an opportunity to do it, is the key to happiness. - John Dewey

What would there be in a story of happiness? Only what prepares it; only what destroys it can be told. - Andre Gide

Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love, to work, to play and to look up at the stars. - Henry van Dyke

As skateboarding evolved, it evolved away from competition. Having a best-trick contest doesn't work. - Rob Dyrdek

The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window - or break down a door. - Brooke Shields

Every person I work with knows something better than me. My job is to listen long enough to find it and use it. - Jack Nichols

Happiness is an attitude of mind, born of the simple determination to be happy under all outward circumstances. - J Donald Walters

If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes. - Andrew Carnegie

Play is a vital learning medium for a child. In a sense play is his work. And he discovers knowledge for himself. - Raymond Moore

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will. - Epictetus

To know how to grow old is the master work of wisdom, and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living. - Frederic Amiel

Happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands, but let it go, and you learn at once how big and precious it is. - Maxim Gorky

Three rules of work: Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. - Albert Einstein

Being confident with what you do drives you to achieve your goals, work at your best and overcome any challenges that come your way. - Matt Morris

Happiness consists more in conveniences of pleasure that occur everyday than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom. - Benjamin Franklin

Whatever success I may have attained is due to the fact that since I was old enough to work at all, my ambition has never deserted me. - Anna Held

My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return. - Maya Angelou

I'd like to get something together - like a Handel, Bach, Muddy Waters, flamenco-type of thing. If I could get that sound, I'd be happy. - Jimi Hendrix

Sometimes life knocks you on your ass. Get up, get up, get up! Happiness is not the absence of problems, it's the ability to deal with them. - Steve Maraboli

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison


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