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Employee Happiness Kit

Cheap management solution to cope with work overload

IMPORTANCE NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEES All personnel will now be required to look happy while working. Company approved supplies will be provided to each employee at no cost. Workload getting to you? Feeling stressed? Too many priorities and assignments? Here is the new company approved solution to cope with multiple priorities and assignments!
Employee Happiness Kit thanks to Barry McCartney

Fig. 1: Each employee will be supplied 2 paper clips and rubber bands

Employee Happiness Kit thanks to Barry McCartney

Fig. 2: Assemble items as shown

Employee Happiness Kit thanks to Barry McCartney

Fig. 3: Apply as shown

Enjoy your day. This new office equipment will help you to reach the end of a productive work day with a smile on your face!
The Management Team

QuotaBills
X: The signature of a happy man - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

At our age every hour is Happy Hour. - Jim Farley

It is awfully hard work doing nothing. - Oscar Wilde

A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown

An honest man's the noblest work of God. - Alexander Pope

It's never too late for a happy childhood. - Gloria Steinem

All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast. - John Gunther

Never despair, but if you do, work on in despair. - Edmund Burke

Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness. - Sigmund Freud

Resolve to work all of the time that you are at work. - Peter Legge

Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length. - Robert Frost

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

When what we are is what we want to be, that's happiness. - Malcolm Forbes

A leaf of grass is no less than the journey-work of the stars. - Walt Whitman

The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work. - Richard Bach

Exhibit pride in your work and humility in your accomplishments. - Unknown

Happiness is anyone and anything at all that's loved by you. - Clark Gesner

Continue to learn and challenge yourself. The hard work will pay off. - Unknown

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. - Thomas Edison

The secret to happiness is to face the fact that the world is horrible. - Bertrand Russell

Computers are heaven-sent when they work and hell-spawn when they don't. - Dani Harper

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. - Emile Zola

As a well spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death. - Leonardo da Vinci

Few people can be happy unless they hate some other person, nation, or creed. - Bertrand Russell

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

The happy man is not he who seems thus to others, but who seems thus to himself. - Marcel Proust

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance. The wise grows it under his feet. - James Oppenheim

A professional is one who does his best work when he feels the least like working. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Work as if you were to live a hundred years.
Pray as if you were to die tomorrow. - Benjamin Franklin

Everyone chases after happiness, not noticing that happiness is right at their heels. - Bertoit Brech

Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes... including you. - Anne Lamott

Happiness grows at our own firesides, and is not to be picked in strangers' gardens. - Douglas Jerrold

All of us are guinea pigs in the laboratory of God. Humanity is just a work in progress. - Tennessee Williams

The greater part of happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, not our circumstances. - Martha Washington

Be steady and well-ordered in your life so that you can be fierce and original in your work. - Gustave Flaubert

It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness: poverty and wealth have both failed. - Kin Hubbard

Happiness, after all, is an inner state of mind. It is little dependent on outside environment. - Jawaharlal Nehru

Work while you have the light. You are responsible for the talent that has been entrusted to you. - Henri F Amiel

Just do your best today and tomorrow will come - tomorrow's going to be a busy day, a happy day. - Helen Boehm

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman

Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you. - Mary Lou Retton

Just think how happy you would be if you lost everything you have right now, and then got it back again. - Frances Rodman

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. - Bill Vaughan

The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

I will only hire someone to work directly for me if I would work for that person. It's a pretty good test. - Mark Zuckerberg

Happiness is an attitude of mind, born of the simple determination to be happy under all outward circumstances. - J Donald Walters

Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. - Norm Papernick

What would you be like if you were the only person in the world? If you want to be truly happy you must be that person. - Quentin Crisp

The essence of philosophy is that a man should so live that his happiness shall depend as little as possible on external things. - Epictetus

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

In order to have great happiness you have to have great pain and unhappiness - otherwise how would you know when you're happy? - Leslie Caron

The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; and third, common sense. - Thomas Edison

For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work. - Doug Larson

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball,
And that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all. - Ogden Nash

A sense of duty is useful in work but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not to be endured with patient resignation. - Bertrand Russell

To be kind to all, to like many and love a few, to be needed and wanted by those we love, is certainly the nearest we can come to happiness. - Mary Roberts Rinehart

No theory is good unless it permits, not rest, but the greatest work. No theory is good except on condition that one use it to go on beyond. - Andre Gide

Each one must learn for himself the highest wisdom. It cannot be taught in words. Men who work cannot dream, and wisdom comes to us in dreams. - Smohalla

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about. - Dale Carnegie

I'd like to get something together - like a Handel, Bach, Muddy Waters, flamenco-type of thing. If I could get that sound, I'd be happy. - Jimi Hendrix

That's the standard technique of privatization: defund, make sure things don't work, people get angry, you hand it over to private capital. - Noam Chomsky


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