Dunking Straw

The piano has been drinking, not me. - Tom Waits

Come quickly, I am drinking the stars. - Dom Perignon

A drowning man will clutch at a straw. - Sir Thomas More

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Work is the curse of the drinking class. - Oscar Wilde

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

Inflation: everyone's illusion of wealth - Unknown

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

It's the final straw that broke the camel's back. - English Proverb

If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

Some of my best friends are illusions. Been sustaining me for years. - Sheila Ballantyne

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

Never say never because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion. - Michael Jordan

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

Drinking gives one a very clear sense of who's to blame for everything. - Unknown

Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies. - Nelson Mandela

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

Wishes and fears are illusions, Dil Bahadur, not realities. You must practice detachment. - Isabel Allende

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

Don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times. - WC Fields

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached. - Simone Weil

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die. - W H Auden

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy