Dunking Straw

The piano has been drinking, not me. - Tom Waits

Come quickly, I am drinking the stars. - Dom Perignon

My drinking team has a sailing problem. - Unknown

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

That's the thing that broke the straw. - Archie Bunker

I'd stop drinking but I'm not a quitter. - Unknown

That's the straw that broke the camel's neck. - Archie Bunker

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

It's the final straw that broke the camel's back. - English Proverb

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

Some of my best friends are illusions. Been sustaining me for years. - Sheila Ballantyne

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

I don't have a drinking problem. Except when I can't get a drink. - Tom Waits

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

Drinking gives one a very clear sense of who's to blame for everything. - Unknown

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

Wishes and fears are illusions, Dil Bahadur, not realities. You must practice detachment. - Isabel Allende

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

Don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times. - WC Fields

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

Dreams or illusions, call them what you will, they lift us from the commonplace of life to better things. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached. - Simone Weil

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die. - W H Auden

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy