Dr. OMG

Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

The cure for grief is motion. - Elbert Hubbard

Diabetes taught me discipline. - Sonia Sotomayor

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

A canter is the cure for all evil. - Benjamin Disraeli

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. - WC Fields

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

When the problem is worry, the prescription is prayer. - David Jeremiah

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

Happiness is not being pained in body or troubled in mind. - Thomas Jefferson

The best cure for unrequited love: get to know them better. - Alain de Botton

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. - Kin Hubbard

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. - Jim Rohn

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

There is nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure. - Jack E Leonard

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Would you take all these pains about your looks if every body was blind? - Charles Finney

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

The colder the X-Ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. - Steven Wright

In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Cookie: The standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Genuine feelings cannot be produced, nor can they be eradicated. The body sticks to the facts. - Alice Miller

The world was made for the body. The body was made for the soul. And the soul was made for God. - Ravi Zacharias

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone. - Robert Frost

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

I've always been independent. I've always had courage. But I didn't always own my diabetes. - Mary Tyler Moore

If you would perfect your body, guard your mind.
If you would renew your body, beautify your mind. - James Allen

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body. - Donald Trump

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The public needs to know - they need to know as much about atrial fibrillation as they do about cancer and diabetes. - Barry Manilow

Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

There's a belonging problem in Hollywood. Who dictates who belongs? The very body who dictates that looks all one way. - Ava DuVernay

One of the greatest things about the sport of surfing is that you need only three things: your body, a surfboard, and a wave. - Naima Green

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

I'm building a glass pyramid over the Egyptian escalator where my body will be mummified, so my customers can come and see me forever. - Mohamed Al-Fayed

Getting wrapped up in worries is bad for your body and spirit. That's when you must short out your logic circuits and reboot your heart. - Pokemon

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

Behind my smile is a broken heart; behind my laugh I'm falling apart; behind my eyes are tears at night; behind my body is a soul trying to fight. - Unknown