Devoted Husband

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

One does not marry art. One ravishes it. - Edgar Degas

Life is short. Eat cookies for breakfast. - Unknown

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. - Oscar Wilde

Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper. - Adelle Davis

The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money. - Joey Adams

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. - Rita Rudner

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America. - Donald Trump

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap? - Phyllis Diller

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times. - Rita Rudner

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst